Out of work due to woo

EoR reports that in Australia, legislation has been passed that allows people other than doctors to issue medical certificates for absences from work, including pharmacists, nurses, acupuncturists, and physiotherapists.

Quite naturally, he wonders when the “the reikiists, the homeopathists and the therapeutic touch” practitioners will want the same privileges and imagines the sorts of letters they will produce:

This is to certify that Joe Bloggs is suffering from

Stagnant qi

Liver toxins

Mercury poisoning

He will be unfit for work for two weeks while he strengthens his immune system.

Heh. I could do this. How about:

Dr. H. Quack, NP, Naturalist

This is to certify that J. Altie is suffering from

Multiple subluxations

Stagnant colon contents

A liver fluke infestation (Hulda Clark will attest to this.)

Inadequate vitamin levels

Weakened immune system

He will be unfit for work for at least two weeks while he cleanses himself of toxins, purges evil humors, and realigns his qi.

Hey, this is kind of fun. Feel free to join in with your own example of altie work excuses for illness.