Your Friday Dose of Woo: The great spirit squid of doom DIABETES

It’s been five months since I first started Your Friday Dose of Woo. I started it on a whim, after wondering if I should have a Friday feature, as so many other ScienceBloggers do (Friday Cephalopod, Friday Sprog Blogging, The Friday Fermentable, among others). In those five months, this thing has taken on a life of its own, producing woo more woo-ey than any that I had ever encountered before, woo like DNA activation, quantum homeopathy, Dr. Emoto’s water woo, spiritually guided surgery, detoxifying boots, and the global orgasm. Sometimes the woo had religious overtones; sometimes it abused quantum theory, and sometimes it was just plain wacky, but I’ve striven to feature only the finest woo every Friday.

This week, I had originally intended to branch out a bit and feature a bit of nonmedical woo. But, then, wouldn’ you know it? Adam would have to go and send me some truly fine woo, woo that combines some truly bizarre concepts with misinformation with pure ultrareligious wingnuttery, so much so that I have to wonder whether the purveyors of this woo truly believe what they are saying. (I’m hoping they don’t, but fear that they do.) I don’t know if this woo is as potent the DNA activation guy’s woo, but it’s close. (Be afraid, be very afraid.) So, forget what you’ve learned about blood glucose and insulin. Those are merely earthly manifestations of a the real problem causing diabetes, the great spirit squid of doom DIABETES (WARNING: The site to which this link leads plays obnoxious music in the background with no way that I could figure out how to turn it off):

Satan through his unrelenting plan of killing, stealing and destroying your bodies uses evil spirits to manifest particular diseases in your bodies. Some diseases of evil calamity will strike a believer and once this attacks, a believer’s hopelessness sets in . The believer is unable to accept help from the Lord and normally he will not even accept that the problem is demonic.

One such evil calamity is DIABETES melitus or the spirit of DIABETES. It seems that when a believer is hit by this demon, he develops hopelessness and he does not believe he will be healed or delivered from this spirit and they even stop from receiving prayers for it.

Ah, yes. The cause of all disease is…Satan! But, I have to ask, if the Lord is all-powerful, why would He let any of his believers be attacked by Satan in this way?

Some of you sitting here now are suffering under the bondage of DIABETIC spirits. The Lord willing, this afternoon, we are going to expose these evil spirits during this lesson. Remember that the Lord Jesus Christ is in the DELIVERANCE business and it is His desire that you be free from the bondage of DIABETIC spirits. I want to establish from the very onset that I’m not advising you to set aside your medication or to cease taking insulin or any other prescription that the witchdoctor has prescribed for you, but I am saying to you that in this dispensation of the church in the spiritual warfare that we are all involved in and the state that the world is in today, we are going to have to re-evaluate some of the things we are bound to for existence and start sincerely seeking the Lord Jesus Christ for a solution to some of the evil calamities that is tormenting your body that the physician is not going to be able to help you with.

Wow.

I do appreciate the fact that, like most woo-meisters, these guys retain at least enough sanity to tell diabetics not to ditch their doctors, medications, or insulin to pursue this woo. On the other hand, this hedging of their bets implies to me a problem whenever I see it in religious woo. Indeed, I have to ask these guys: How can you say this? Your faith must be weak indeed if you don’t believe in your prayers and binding and casting out of the demon DIABETES enough to urge–nay, demand–that diabetics throw out their metformin or insulin, pray to the Lord to cast out the demon DIABETES, and then proceed posthaste to the nearest bakery and down a large quantity of sugary confections to celebrate the power of the Lord.

They then go on to describe the nature of this evil spirit that causes DIABETES (sorry, the caps are contagious):

I believe first that we should look at the spirit of DIABETES – what does he do – what damage does he cause in your body – what evil spirits work with him. Evil spirits very rarely come into your body by themselves, they like to bring their friends with them. So we need also to look at the grounds or the roots that the DIABETIC spirits have to attack you.

The word DIABETES means: running through, as if a spirit is running through your body.

Wrong.

True, the word “diabetes” (Greek: διαβήτης) is derived from a Greek word that means “passing through” or “siphon,” but not in the sense of a “spirit running through your body.” Rather, the word refers to one of the most prominent symptoms of untreated diabetes (and all diabetes was untreated in ancient Greece, where the disease was first given a name, mainly because insulin wasn’t discovered until the 1920’s), specifically, the excessive urination caused by the osmotic diuresis due to high levels of glucose in the blood. In essence, above a certain threshold, the kidneys can’t reabsorb glucose and therefore excrete the excess into the urine. However, the kidneys must excrete water as well whenever they excrete salt or solutes, and this obligatory water excretion with the sugar leads to a diuresis and the classic symptoms of polyuria (having to pee all the time) and polydipsia (being thirsty all the time because of the dehydration caused by the diuresis). The “passing through” has nothing to do with spirits.

Of course, these aren’t just any spirits that cause diabetes. They’re “squid-type” spirits that attack ten parts of your body:

Now a squid has ten (10) arms and an octopus has eight (8) arms. In the study of mind control we found out there was an octopus type spirit with 8 arms. With a squid type spirit it has 10 arms and such is the case with the spirit of DIABETES.

And here is where the head and the arms are:

He is centered in the pancreas, which is right behind the stomach which is where the insulin is developed. This is where he seats himself. And then with the arms and the spirits that are working with him he touches the 1/BRAIN. This is a spirit named migraine and a spirit named headache that works with him that touches the brain (one part of the body). Another part of the body he touches is the 2/KIDNEYS. He will also touch the 3/EYES. There is a particular spirit that works on the eyes. It reduces your vision first, blurs it, then diminishes it, then eliminates it completely!

And I thought it was the direct effects on the cornea and the damage to the microvasculature in the retina that led to diabetic retinopathy and blindness. Silly me.

Another spirit that works with him on the arms of DIABETES is the 4/LIVER. He touches into the liver area to damage the area that is supposed to cleanse the blood. This spirit has an arm and there’s usually a spirit called canker that touches down into the 5/FEET. This is why many people with type II DIABETES develop feet problems over the years. In some cases it leads to amputation.

No, diabetic foot problems are again primarily the result of damage to the small arteries and microvasculature. Also, people with type I and type II diabetes are vulnerable to pretty much the same diabetes-related problems. Really, you don’t need to postulate all those arms. Much of the damage caused by diabetes is due to the damage to the blood vessels. Of course, you could always say the squid arms are running through the blood vessels.

Another area that he touches is down into the 6/BLADDER. This spirit causes the people to have the constant problem of running to the bathroom with excessive urination.

We’ve already established that its the high blood sugar that causes the excessive urination, not any spirit.

This spirit also touches the 7/SKIN causing excessive itching. He also reaches into the 8/EARS, he has a spirit that worships him called the dumb and deaf spirit where he damages that area.

Actually, the high glucose of diabetes damages the nerves in the skin, which is what causes diabetic neuropathy, which usually leads to a decrease in sensation and numbness in a “stocking-glove” distribution, not itching. Deafness is usually not a result of diabetes.

The DIABETES spirit will also touch the 9/LUNGS causing breathing problems.

No it doesn’t. Lung problems are not associated with diabetes any more than in the population at large.

He also will strike in the man and woman in the 10/REPRODUCTIVE AREAS. In the man he will strike him with impotence.

True, but we’re back to the damage to blood vessels again that causes this problem, along with neuropathy leading to decreased sensation.

The results of the DIABETES spirit attacking the human body is that he will impair the vision in the person in his later years, developing cataracts and vision problems. He induces drowsiness in a person and they will be always tired. He has infirmity spirits working with him to generate this tiredness. The person will have excessive thirst and excessive hunger. This spirit also influences the loss and gain of weight; influences rashes, slow healing of cuts and bruises; causes excessive urination, bed wetting for adults and children; cause enlargement of the liver, kidney diseases, gangrene which is a spirit called candor that destroys the feet. It can also cause hardening of the arteries.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but when we add all of the above up, doesn’t that come to more than ten arms for the demon squid?

In any case, these woos have listed problems that diabetes doesn’t cause (lung problems, for example) and forgotten ones that it does, like diabetic gastroparesis. The American Diabetic Association keeps a list of complications of Type I and Type II diabetes. These guys should read it and learn something.

So what can you do if you’re inhabited by one of these demon squid causing diabetes (that is, besides not firing your doctor and not throwing away your medications)?

Easy. You have to bind and cast out that demon! To do that, you have to:

1. To become a REAL Christian (True Worshiper) (Believer) (Pray this: Jesus, forgive me of all my sins. I repent of my sins. Come into my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit.)

2. Cast OUT your own demons

3. Do Spiritual Warfare

4. Break and RETURN all evil to the sender on a DAILY basis,

IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, (DELIVERANCE)

AND

ARE WILLING TO DO A LOT OF STUDYING – OVER 3000 printed pages broken down into over 300 articles, continue reading.

All this information is provided free of charge – NOTHING TO BUY.

“Nothing to buy”? Well, that’s a relief. The woo is more pure when not touched with worldly monetary concerns, wouldn’t you say? But be careful reading the deliverance material that will allow you to cast out the squid demon diabetes. There could be problems if you’re not ready, sort of like what happened to Luke Skywalker when he abandoned his Jedi training prematurely to go off and fight Darth Vader:

Some people have reported that while reading portions of our Deliverance material, some demons have manifested in them in various ways. If this happens, pray this: “FATHER, IN THE NAME OF JESUS, I COMMAND ALL THE DEMONS ATTACKING ME TO LEAVE ME NOW, IN THE NAME OF JESUS.”

Whew. That’s a relief. I was afraid it might be hard to get rid of them if they attacked me before I completed my training. After all, Luke lost a hand in a light saber duel because he took on his demon (Vader) before he was fully trained in use of the Force. It’s nice to know that the same thing won’t necessarily happen if you take on your demons before finishing your spiritual training.

What tops off this woo so well, though, is how you cast out the demon squid DIABETES:

So let us take the ten (10) arms of the DIABETES spirits and cast them out of you so that he can stop hindering your life.

Praise the Lord!

Here is a list of demons to cast OUT in the name of Jesus. Also, get a good THESAURUS and look up DIABETES and all related words. Cast OUT all the names listed.

ABDOMEN, DEMONS IN
ACCELERATED HARDENING OF THE ARTERIES
ACUTE PAIN
AFRAID YOU ARE GOING TO DIE
AMPUTATION
ANGER
ANIMAL SPIRITS
ANXIETY
BED WETTING
BEEF INSULIN
BETA CELL DESTROYER
BLACKWELL
BLADDER, DEMONS IN
BLOOD DISEASES
BLOOD RESTRICTING
BLOOD SUGAR, DEMONS IN
BLOOD VESSELS, DEMONS IN
BLURRED VISION
BONDAGE
BOWED DOWN
BOWEL DISEASE
BRAIN DAMAGE
BRAIN MIGRAINE
BRAIN, DEMONS IN
BREAK LEGAL GROUNDS
BREATHING PROBLEMS
BURNING IN THE THROAT
CANCER
CANCER OF THE PANCREAS
CANDOR
CANKER
CAN’T LEARN THE WORD
CAN’T OPERATE IN THE WORD
CAN’T READ THE WORD

Can’t take any more of the Word!

I just had to stop. The list goes on for a lot longer. So many demons to cast out, so little time! I’d better get cracking. Even though I’m fortunately not diabetic, the thought of a demon squid entering me, constricting around my pancreas to keep it from producing insulin and sending one of its tentacles into my nether regions to render me impotent somehow scares the crap out of me.

You think I’m joking? Think again. After all, look what happens to those who mock this great woo. I have to be scared, or the Lord will be royally ticked off at me.