So he’s not just a bad actor, but he’s a woo-meister as well

i-cbb47eec31b9c8db9fe801c2f0e66802-xoxide_1949_35549170.jpgIs your qi weak? Is your aura not glowing as brightly and colorfully as it should? Is your ability to take on ten masked men who conveniently come at you no more than one or two at a time getting shaky, so that you’re no longer sure that you can handle more than, say, five evil-doers? Do you feel the need for a “natural energy drink packed with vitamins and exotic botanicals”?

Wait no more! B-movie hack Steven Seagal has your back with his Lightning Bolt energy drink:

Then look no further for the true meaning of life then Master Sensei Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink!

Lightning Bolt, the one and only energy drink crafted by martial arts expert and herbal specialist Steven Seagal, is the only all natural 100% juice energy drink on the market. This long lasting energy elixir is made with key ingredients from all over the globe. With a healthy dosing of Tibetan Goji Berry, Asian Cordyceps, B-Vitamins, Green Tea, Yerba Mate, Ginseng, Ginkgo Biloba, Guarana, and Policosanols, Lightning Bolt will give you the strength you need to punch your adversary’s faces through plate glass windows day in and day out!

Oh and it gets better, Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt is available in 2 great juicy flavors! Cherry Charge brings you the great taste of freshly squeezed cherry juice, while for those of you that desire a slightly less sweet drink can partake of the true Asian Experience. Either way, you still get a powerful bolt of energy delivered into your body that Steven Seagal precisely blended for lasting maximum performance. So get ready to take on the world with new meaning with Steven Segal’s own Lightning Bolt Energy Drink!

The “true meaning of life”? From an energy drink by Steven Seagal? What are those herbs he put in the drink? On the other hand, I’d sure like the energy to be able to punch my foes faces through plate glass windows. That’s a hell of an advertising promise.

Too bad it appears to be out of stock.