The ultimate “Zionist” conspiracy

If you’ve hung out in forums where Holocaust deniers, 9/11 Truthers, and other conspiracy theorists hang out, as I have done, one thing you’ll notice is that these particular purveyors of dubious conspiracy-mongering seem to have a particular love of demonizing Jews (or, as the smarter ones tend to call them in order to try to skirt obvious charges of anti-Semitism, “Zionists”). If you believe such nuts, Jews are responsible for exaggerating the Holocaust, for destroying the World Trade Center, or even for for the destruction of the Space Shuttle Columbia or even Hurricane Katrina. Indeed, the sheer number of things that nutjobs want to blame the Jews for beggars the imagination.

Fortunately, there is now a tool to help me to make the connections that we “sheeples” are unable to see but that conpsiracy-mongers find so compelling. Fortunately, to help us goyim minimize our confusion over just what conspiracies Jews are involved in (and, with idiots like David Duke, David Irving, and a host of other anti-Semites coming up with new things to blame “Zionists” for on a daily basis, you know we need help), I present to you the the Zionist-Conspiracy-O-Matic. It’s all the guidance anyone needs in this area.

Come to think of it, why should Jews have all the fun making up conspiracies in which they play the prominent role, all to make fun of idiotic conspiracy cranks? Come on, what about the Illuminati, David Icke’s lizard people, the Masons, the U.N., and, of course, the Catholic Church? Surely we can generalize the Zionist-Conspiracy-O-Matic to handle all these favored targets, too!