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Sports

Lose, Lions, lose

I rarely blog about sports, but I’ll make an exception for today, given that football history is likely to be made later this afternoon. I’m not much of a football fan, at least not of professional football. These days, the games take even longer than a baseball game and all too often lack the excitement of even that.

Especially when it’s the Detroit Lions playing.

Of course, even though my interest in pro football is relatively weak, I do take in a game from time to time, and I still have a soft spot in my heart for my hometown team, despite their two decades of futility and never having gone to a Superbowl since the Superbowl was inaugurated. That’s why I’m with my fellow Detroiters as described by Mitch Albom this morning:

That’s what’s left to brag about, Mr. Ford.

We’re the worst. We made history. We scraped bottom. Nobody does losing better than us. Those are boasts actually being hollered, Mr. Ford, because when your football team drops below bad, below terrible, below the talent, organization and performance level of every other team in the NFL, that’s all that you have left to get excited about.

Perfect Awfulness.

So this afternoon — as your 0-15 team gives it one last try on a wintry Lambeau Field in Green Bay — you stand on the brink of being forever remembered as the captain of the Titanic, the commander of the Hindenburg, the man at the helm of the biggest crash in the history of professional football.

And some Detroiters are rooting for it.

More than just some. A lot–and rightfully so. I never thought this way before, but the Lions have–shall we say?–“inspired” me to say: If you suck, suck the worst. Don’t embrace mediocrity. No one remembers the mediocre, but they do remember the worst, and the Lions have their opportunity to suck the worst, to be the worst football team in NFL history. That infamy is the only thing for which they’re likely to be remembered for a long time to come. They should stop struggling and embrace their suckitude. Certainly I’ll be rooting for them.

To lose.

0-16. Struggle no more. Make history. Be the worst.

ADDENDUM: It’s official. The 2008 Lions are the worst team in the history of the NFL.

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

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