I have returned.
The funeral is over; I went back to work yesterday; and it’s time to reenter “regular” life again. To me that includes blogging. I do not know when or if I’ll do a post about my mother-in-law’s death from breast cancer. I tried, and I’m just not ready yet. The only thing I can say is that work yesterday produced a strange sort of disconnect. Things just didn’t seem real, and I had a hell of a time motivating myself to do anything that I didn’t have to do. I’m sure I’ll get over it soon enough. I have to. The old curse goes, “May you live in interesting times,” and unfortunately around my cancer center right now times are interesting. When I’m ready, if I feel up to it, there are at least a couple of observations I could make, not the least of which is how much it sucks to know too much when someone you love is dying of cancer and how all hospices are not created equal.
But, again, not just yet. It’s only been eight days; it’s too raw; and I know my wife and other family read this blog. One thing I will say is that never have I witnessed such pure unselfishness and love as my wife demonstrated in putting her career on hold for nearly four months to head to Ohio and take care of her mother during her last days. Any complaint I might have had about being left alone for much of that time seems downright piteous in comparison to what my wife went through.
Another thing that I’d be remiss not to mention is how much I appreciated all of your comments after my announcement of my mother-in-law’s passing. Many of you opened up in a way that I really appreciated, and I thank you. I do not appreciate the comments of a certain antivaccinationist loon whom I unfortunately had to deal on a couple of the occasions when I did check the blog to see what was going on. She knows who she is, and regular readers know who she is too.
I realize that my departure from the blogosphere coincided with one of the biggest developments on the vaccine front that I can recall in my four years of blogging, namely the judgment against the first test cases in the Autism Omnibus. Even though it’s been a week, I may well have something to say about that on Monday. (Later today I will likely have something to say about one of the reactions to it by a certain pediatrician, simply because his comments outraged me and it’s as good a place as any to jump back in, but a fuller discussion of the developments of the last week or two will have to wait a couple of more days.) After that, I hope to move away from vaccines for a while.
Time will tell if my return is too soon, but easing my way back into dishing out the Respectful and not-so-Respectful Insolence you’ve come to love–or hate, depending on who you are–now feels right. So here we go again.