I realize that PZ seems to have all the fun when it comes to entertaining e-mails from cranks, but that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes get my share of such amusement. For example, yesterday, waiting for me in the morning in my e-mail in box was this delightful gem:
From: [email protected]
Subject: the dark force behind the global crisis
Date: February 23, 2009 12:29:07 AM GMT-05:00
To: [email protected]To friends of life on Earth,
There is a dark force working to undermine all ecosystems on Earth.
This force is a trans-century cult that calls itself the Illuminati — because its members believe that one day they will be “illuminated” and become gods on Earth.
Illuminati members have infiltrated all world politics and control all financial systems.
They have engineered the present financial crisis and they are responsible for the events of 9/11 and for the majority of false-flag events in recent history. Through war and other means, they are responsible for the hyper-poisoning of the planet.
Earth will not survive their machinations.
Radio interviews from ex-cult members Svali and Mary Ann:
Svali
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN6x55Ol0SgMary Ann
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9UX2KA0mDEFreemasons’ connection to the Illuminati:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6ks_AVND3gThe Illuminati are the secret players behind the present apocalyptic political scene, and they must be brought out from behind the curtain before our planet is destroyed.
Many Illuminati cult members are held to the cult by fear alone and would turn away from it, if it were challenged by the light of public inquiry.
Sincerely,
Jock Doubleday
Director
Natural Woman, Natural Man, Inc.
A California 501(c)3 Nonprofit CorporationIf you want to be removed from this list, please hit reply, type remove in the subject line, and hit send.
I appreciate Jock’s leaving me instructions on how to get off of his e-mail list, but the material he supplied me about the Illuminati was so fascinating that I don’t know if I want to be taken off his list.
In any case, Jock Doubleday, if you recall, is the genius behind the bogus $180,000 Vaccine Challenge, a challenge that, whenever someone actually offers to take him up on it, he seems to find a reason to run away. Indeed, several doctors have offered to take him up on it. After this kind e-mail from Jock, I’m half-tempted to take him up on it myself. I realize it’s a totally bogus challenge, but it might provide me with amusement.
After all, pharma shill that I am, I must obviously be part of the Illuminati. I’ll be fine, no matter how many “toxins” Jock tries to get me to swallow.
40 replies on “I get e-mail, too”
Who’s controls the British Crown? Who keeps the metric system down? WE DO! WE DO!
A while back, Kev wrote about a case report of a man who ingested ~500 times the amount of thimerosal in Jock Doubleday’s challenge. As you can imagine, the guy was hospitalized, but he did not become autistic at any point in time, and eventually made a full recovery.
JB Handley (Mercury Dad) showed up in that post, as he used to do whenever something really pissed him off.
I don’t care that he’s a loon. Jock Doubleday is just an awesome name.
I hear if you chant “Gouranga, gouranga” loud enough, it keeps the Illuminati away. I guess it’s kind of like “Ni!” from that famous documentary of medieval England that they made back around 1970 or so…
Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!
Fnord.
Maybe David Eicke (“The Biggest Secret”) was right. It is just the Illuminati, rather than the Babylonian Brotherhood and the Reptilians. Frightening.
Oh my.
I listened to that first video. A woman describes being born in the Illuminati (where she was a Youth Leader), and being taken, at the age of 12, to the Vatican. There, she was led through catacombs guarded by mummies and forced to watched as a 3 year old boy was sacrificed on a Pentagram altar, after which she was made to swear allegiance to the New World Order.
Look, this is eyewitness testimony. That’s the strongest kind of evidence there is. Really.
Most convincing of all were the photographs of crop circles which played as she told her story. I mean, I could see them myself. Not sure of the connection, but perhaps it’s in one of the subsequent 9 parts of the interview.
I also liked how the interviewer said something like “Unbelievable. I mean — it must have felt unbelievable to you, at the time.”
Truly, how could you open an email with the subject line “the dark force behind the global crisis” and expect to find anything approximating rationality?
@Rogue:
Ha! I forgot all about that one.
Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do! We dooooooooo!
Earth will not survive their machinations.
Well, time to relax, kick back, and have a home-brew, then. Nothing to stress out about, is there?
Fatalism: you’re doing it wrong.
@Danio
The Illuminati have obviously infiltrated the subcontinent of India, seeing as ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ swept the big awards the other night. Then again, Danny Boyle was also previously a Catholic priest … meaning he’s linked to the Vatican … meaning he must be Illuminatus! WHARRGRBBBBL
@Cynical Pediatrician
That would have been my second reference. Fnord! Fnord!
…fine choice of a name, btw
I first heard about the impending world domination of the Illuminati in a Christian youth group in 1976. Some crap takes a long time to fall off the wall.
I just had a look at Doubleday’s conditions for taking his little challenge. It’s hard to imagine anyone in their right minds taking that up. Even setting aside the general intrusiveness, it could be quite expensive. If he really wanted to Jock could probably bump the cost up above the value of the prize.
I’d love to take Jock’s challenge, but I’m not an MD. I’m sure there are many other willing but excluded readers. Orac, you’ve gotta do it for the rest of us!
Well, that’s a wicked pissah!
Radio interviews from ex-cult members Svali and Mary Ann: …
Uh-oh. Has anyone heard from Gilligan?
Keep telling yourself all the things you’re telling yourself, Mr. Insolence.
I notice research is not your forte. 🙂
Oh well, right?
Sincerely,
Jock Doubleday
Jock Doubleday
Director
Natural Woman, Natural Man, Inc.
A California 501(c)3 Nonprofit Corporation
http://www.SpontaneousCreation.org
[email protected]
Jock, you need to see this:
http://www.sjgames.com/illuminati/ … that should help with your research.
Oh, by the way, Jocky boy, can YOU tell me what real scientific evidence there is that shows the DTaP is worse than diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis (by the way pertussis kills over a dozen American babies every year — and that is increasing due to child haters like you reducing the herd immunity to protect infants too young to get vaccinated). And remember the real scientific information must be in a journal available at my local medical school library.
Josh in California said “I’d love to take Jock’s challenge, but I’m not an MD. I’m sure there are many other willing but excluded readers.”
Did you read the fine print? Something Mr. Doubleday conveniently leaves out:
http://www.spontaneouscreation.org/SC/ContractPartA.htm (for some reason this link no longer occurs in the offer letter, using the Wayback machine I found it disappeared late 2007).
Begin quote
A. Psychiatric Evaluations
Participant agrees to undergo psychiatric evaluations â¦.
B. Mental Health Records
Participant agrees to submit, within 45 (forty-five) days of Participantâs signing of the Agreement, documents comprising a verifiable written history of all psychological counseling and therapy â¦
C. Email Examination
Participant agrees to take a written open-book examination (the âBasic Examâ) before becoming eligible to receive Part B of the Agreementâ¦.
D. Book Purchase
To assure Participantâs complete and thorough familiarity with and understanding of possible immediate and long-term physical and psychological hazards of chemicals commonly used as disinfectant, preservative, medium, or other additives in vaccines, as well as possible immediate and long-term behavioral changes that may occur from ingestion of or contact with these chemicals, Participant agrees to obtain at Participantâs cost the following recently published books (the âBooksâ):â¦
E. Written Examination
Participant agrees to take a written closed-book examination â¦
F. Good Health Certification
To certify that Participant is in normal health (âGood Healthâ) (so that, upon Participantâs possible sickness or death after the ingestion of the Mixture, Participant and/or agents of Participant cannot reasonably claim that sickness or death was due to causes other than the ingestion of the Mixture), Participant agrees to a general physical exam including a blood test (the âPhysical Examâ), at Participantâs expense,â¦
Securing of Medical Professionals:
Participant agrees to secure three medical professionals â¦
Television Appearances:
Participant agrees to make at least five regional or national television appearances â¦
Participant Donations:
In the event that Participant signs Part A of the Agreement but fails to sign the Agreement-in-Full within 120 (one hundred and twenty) days of the signing of Part A of the Agreement, Participant agrees to donate by check the amount of $5,000.00 (five thousand U.S. dollars),â¦
End quote
Thanks for the link Orac! Ah, good old Jock Doubleday…
And HCN, as you rightly point out, the rules of JD’s challenge are so ludicrous as to make it pretty much impossible for anyone to enter. Which I guess is kind of the point.
Somebody thinks that all he has to do to be James Randi is put up a challenge. Thing is, your challenge needs to be something that a person can actually complete in good faith. This seems more like a scam to get 5k out of an opponent (that tricky little bit at the end).
and he even dropped by to leave a little bit of meaningless snark. Highly amusing.
All I can think of right now is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/They%27re_Coming_to_Take_Me_Away_Ha-Haaa!
I Am Not A Lawyer, but from reading the contract it seems that the participant might be required to pay money if they fail the email exam, fail the medical examination, and so forth. Doubleday, you should either:
1) Make it clear that failing any of the qualifications doesn’t mean you have to pay a fine.
2) Make it clear that failing any of the qualifications does mean you have to pay the fines, and explain why.
Of course, if you choose #2, then naturally no one will take you up on it.
Well, it’s in intelligible English, correctly punctuated, with reasonable paragraphs breaks, and no random capitalisation. It’s pretty tame compared to some of the loonies PZ gets. You’ll have to try harder Orac.
I suspect like you that this offer is rather tenuous but are you aware that childrens vaccines when inadvertently given to teenagers result in 85 per cent serious adverse reactions.
The teenagers are bigger and tougher and have one very distinct advantage.
They can communicate without having to just cry all day long until there batteries run down.
I too would love to get my hands on that dosh and think you would have every chance of winning the money AND surviving.
But I think I would rather fill out lots of requests to go on “Who wants to be a Millionaire” and even there you can get grief if you win too much money.
There really does seem to be no “Free Lunches” anywhere.
John, you are aware that most people have those vaccines as a teenager and above, right? I had the DTAP not too very long ago. 85% get a serious reaction? Do you honestly believe this or is your grasp of math about as poor as your grasp of chemistry?
An Illuminati email.
That’s pretty sweet.
FNORD!!
And it’s yours?
Hmm… Jock. Illuminati. I’m getting a hankering to dig out my Deus Ex CD.
Well, Mr Fryer did specify children’s vaccines given *inadvertently* to teenagers. So presumably the ones given intentionally to teenagers are okay. Or something.
I gotta say, given that I saw no bad reactions out of all my routinely-vaccinated classmates, we must’ve been a serious statistical anomaly at my high school. A whole lotta outliers there. And none of my relatives had problems either. If 85% were experiencing serious reactions, you’d think I would’ve bumped into one by now.
Research? Not Orac’s forte? *snicker* *snrk* BAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, man, thanks for the belly laugh there, buddy, that’s primo material!
*breaking out the clue-by-four*
His day job, as it were, just happens to be as a cancer research oncologist…. it’s what *bonk* he *bonk* does *bonk* for *bonk* a *bonk* living.
Apparently reading comprehension may not exactly be your forte, sir….
The most intensely-vaccinated group of teenagers/young adults in American society are military personnel. We are vaccinated for everything and on every possible occasion. We are f’ing pincushions, we are so vaccinated. I have nightmare memories of lining up to run the gauntlet between two corpsmen with grins on their faces and those evil staple-gun-looking thingies in their hands.
And there was no 85% reaction rate, either, unless you count loud and creative obscenities as a reaction.
Fryer is probably including a red spot around the injection site and soreness.
From John Fryer, MSc, BSc, Senior Analytical Chemist:
Do you have a citation for that or did you just make it up? And is it different for teenagers and adults or do they have the same degree of reaction?
Is anyone taking John Fryer, MSc, BSc, Senior Analytical Chemist seriously?
I can’t.
Prometheus
I’m glad your email is just as entertaining as PZ’s. That’s quite an feat and it brightens my day!
From Robster:
I recall getting a BCG vacination when I was about 12. I had a bit of a blister on my arm, (still got a small scar) but, being 12, I made an awful lot more fuss than it warrented in order to garner some attention and perhaps a day off school. (Got the first, but not the second.)
He’s either terrible with numbers, or likes to make stuff up.
It’s funny — when you get right down to it, the Illuminati (the real ones who have been gone for over two centuries) seem like my kinda people. Someone should try that on a black helicopter tinfoilhead.
Wow,thats some seriously entertaining crazy.
These Illuminati guys sound pretty cool. Secret cult built around the ideals of the enlightenment, controling the destiny of mankind, focused on becoming ‘gods on earth’! Where do we sign up?