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Sometimes, you’ve just gotta do it…

…at least that seems to be the case with this couple:

Tourists enjoying a day of sightseeing at Windsor Castle got more than they bargained for today when a couple were caught having sex on the Queen’s lawn.

Ignoring signs asking visitors to Please Keep Off The Grass, the man and woman, said to be in their early 30, selected a spot near the castle’s Garter Tower and stripped off in full view of hotels, pubs and shops.

An employee at the Harte and Garter Hotel, which overlooks the castle, said guests went out to observe the scene and could not believe their eyes. The woman, who asked not to be named, said: “People were shouting things like ‘what are you doing?’ but the couple didn’t seem to care at all. It was going on for about 10 or 15 minutes, which is quite a long time, considering the location.”

Impressive. Quite impressive. And, of course:

“The Japanese tourists were comparing their videos.”

But, most important of all:

It is not known whether the Queen was in residence at Windsor Castle at the time.

I wouldn’t have thought that Windsor Castle would be such an aphrodisiac that it completely overwhelmed this couple’s self-control, but apparently I don’t know much about aphrodisiacs.

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

30 replies on “Sometimes, you’ve just gotta do it…”

If the Queen was there, then the Royal Standard would have been flying above the castle.

Of course, I expect that none of those photos actually show the flagpole, so to speak.

“Ignoring signs asking visitors to Please Keep Off The Grass…”

Soon to be replaced by signs saying “No sex please, we’re British.”

@ KC:

WTF?!?!? And shame on Elsevier for cooperating. If Merck had just hired some folks with Pagemaker to throw something together and get it printed at Kinko’s, that’s bad enough, but for a legitimate publisher to be party to this? Good grief.

–Kathryn

Gosh, etc. And this comes cold on the heels of a couple of Beatles having a joint in one of the broom cupboards while waiting to receive their OBEs!

What a hotbed of sin Buck House is. It’s only a matter of time (well, decades) until some footman is caught buggering little boys belowstairs.

lol! They only stopped when the police walked up and asked them to! I wonder if they got a ticket for being on the grass?!

Sean beat me to it, look for the royal standard flying high above the castle.

This sort of things wouldn’t happen if the front lawn wasn’t so neatly trimmed.

Am I the only one who finds this unamusing? I like a good romp as much as the next middle-aged woman, but really, this was disrespectful and insulting behaviour. I hope they were arrested for some sort of indecency charge. Also, I wonder why this item is on this blog?

My mother, being a child of the 40s and the daughter of a public health worker, lined us up for Swine Flu vaccines in 1976.

I suppose the upside of the anti-vax crowd with their “I’ll use enemas and homeopathy” arguments is that there will be more vaccine for those of us who want it when they finally roll one out?

“Am I the only one who finds this unamusing? I like a good romp as much as the next middle-aged woman, but really, this was disrespectful and insulting behaviour. I hope they were arrested for some sort of indecency charge. Also, I wonder why this item is on this blog?”
–Anthro

“Dear BBC, East Grinstead, Friday. I feel I really must write and protest about that sketch. My husband, in common with a lot of people of his age, is fifty. For how long are we to put up with these things?”
–E. B. Debenham (Mrs).

“Dear Freddy Grisewood, Bagshot, Surrey. As a prolific letter-writer, I feel I must protest about the previous letter. I am nearly sixty and am quite mad, but I do enjoy listening to the BBC Home Service. If this continues to go on unabated…Dunkirk, dark days of the war, backs to the wall, Alvar Liddell, Berlin air lift, moral upheaval of Profumo case, young hippies roaming the streets, raping, looting and killing.”
–Brigadier Arthur Gormanstrop (Mrs).

Seagoon:
As I sat having my bath in the back of the snowplough – a foul trick was played.

Grytpype:
Hands up, Neddie, drop that soap. Moriarty, tie his hands – then hide them where he can’t find them.

Seagoon:
What a fiendish move – you naughty men – I’ll write to The Times about this –

Fx:
Furious pen scratching on vellum or paper.

Seagoon:
Dear Sir – I wish to complain about an outbreak of hand-tying on snow-ploughs whilst taking hip baths.

Grytpype:
(furious) Give me that letter – you’ll not send that, now then lad.

Fx:
Furious writing.

Grytpype:
Dear sir – today I heard the first cuckoo – there, sign that –

Fx:
Pen.

Seagoon:
You swine!

Grytpype:
Good – Moriarty, post it – that’ll put them off the perfume.

A scene where the royalty of different monarchies are having some tea:

“So anything interesting happened to anyone this past week?”

“Miffy had a bunch of kittens.”

“Awwwww. How cute.”

“Anyone else?”

“We had a tourist couple screwing on our front lawn for 10 to 15 minutes before they kicked out.”

** spittake! **
😉

Really, it was Queen Victoria who was famously Not Amused.

I think the police will be giving this couple rather a hard time over this. I expect the two of them to stand before the bar and ejaculate “Guilty!” when the judge asks them to make a plea. But I’m sure it will all come right in the end.

“A spokesman from Thames Valley police confirmed that two people had been arrested and cautioned for outraging public decency. It is not known whether the Queen was in residence at Windsor Castle at the time.”

Yes, there will always be an England.

There’s a genre dedicated to pubic displays of affection. Video has been shot of people having sex in public parks, train stations and bus terminals, and even shopping malls. Then you have fake public sex, in which the action does take place out doors, but usually on private grounds, or in locations that happen to be empty at the time. There are people who have to be watched having sex in a public location in order to experience excitement and orgasm.

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