Birthers on parade, revisited: Happy Birther Day, Mr. President!

Wow. After I wrote a post last week about the “birthers,” cranks who believe that Barack Obama was not born in Hawaii, and therefore is not a natural born U.S. citizen, and therefore is not eligible to be President of the United States. Like all good conspiracy theorist cranks, they trot out all sorts of reasons why all the evidence showing that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii 48 years ago today is invalid or how there is a huge coverup. (Isn’t there always in any good conspiracy theory?) Meanwhile, they constantly demand that they be “shown the birth certificate.” As if that would shut them up. If anyone would show them what they wanted, they’d look it over and piously declare it a forgery.

Yes, for sheer craziness birthers are hard to beat, and my interest in skepticism and critical thinking has led me to pay a bit more attention to them than I did before, particularly today, which happens to be Barack Obama’s 48th birthday. After all, how on earth can they believe something for which there is no evidence and against which there is a lot of evidence? Lately, they’ve even released an alleged Kenyan birth certificate for Barack Obama, which is an obvious and blatant forgery, with others identifying the likely source. In response, Birther-In-Chief Orly Taitz had a hissy fit.

The more I look at the depths of looniness to which birthers are willing to descend, the more I see alien abductees, JFK conspiracy theorists, moon hoaxers, Holocaust deniers, and 9/11 Truthers. They’re all playing from the same playbook.

Here’s what I say. If you’re going to forge a birth certificate, do it right. I’ve found the most convincing document yet proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that President Obama is an alien–and I do mean alien:


The conspiracy runs far deeper than even birthers can know, and Jesus’ General manfully (as usual) concurs. No, Obama is not even the Antichrist. You pathetic birthers have no chance against the might of the this conspiracy. It won’t be long before the lizard men and black oil are revealed. Barack Obama’s ascension to the Presidency is just the beginning. Muhahahahahahaha!

You know, I’m starting to feel sorry for the birthers. They’re making moon hoax conspiracy theorists seem sane by comparison.

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