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Are you ready for the…ultimate praying championship?

Sadly, this is not too far from how religious disputes seem to be settled. The only difference is that there’s less violence here than there is in real life:

Hmmm. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if religious conflicts could be resolved by an Ultimate Praying Challenger, rather than the usual way. As the reporter said, “Who’s closer to God now, bitch?”

Hat tip to Stupid Evil Bastard.

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

18 replies on “Are you ready for the…ultimate praying championship?”

Oh. I took part in this a couple of years back. I was on the atheists’ team. Unfortunately we were knocked out in the first round on a technicality.

But at last we found the venue, unlike the agnostics.

That’s just too funny! Especially the part about God being real, or else all the fighting would be pointless!

Unbeeeeelievably funny!!!!!!

“The Armenians are adorning Team captain Armenishe Scanion with some sort of special headgear.”

The “who’s closer to god now, bitch?” is a classic.

Starts out a bit like Iron chef America then quickly spills over into extreme cage fighting.

Next week its Christian Science vs. Morman teenagers on bicycles.

Something about what makes a joke really funny is that at it’s core, there is an element of truth.

Thanks for sharing that.

This amuses me quite a bit actually.

As I recall a few Old Testament religious debates were supposed to have been settled in this manner. I forget where it’s mentioned, though. Amusing, in any case.

I believe the Monty Python troupe which is what this reminded me a bit of, were likely the best at satirical religious comedy as evidenced by “The Life of Brian”. Python did quite a bit at weaving some historical fact into their comedy skits during that film. When the Catholic church officially denounces the film before it was released, you know its got to good and blasphemous.

Stoning scene “Are thier any women here?”
Coliseum discussion about Peoples Front of Judea, Judean Peoples Front, Front for the Judean people… oh never mind.

Uncle Dave,

Every sperm is Sacred; every sperm is great. And if a sperm gets wasted, God gets quite irate!

Thanks Craig,
I forgot to mention “The meaning of Life”
“Look at em. Bloody catholics!”
“What are we dear?”
We’re Protestants! and fiercely proud of it!

Thanks Lindsay, I wish PBS would bring back the old Python series again. It will take me awhile as I review all the old Python sketches on youtube.

“…and the ladies auxiliary will not re-enact the attack on Pearl Harbor”

The Irish comedian Dave Allan once did a sketch (this is back in the 1970s mind you) called “The Ecclesiastical Games” in which various religions competed in events like “the confessional relay,” “throwing the censer” (like the hammer contest in track and field) and “raising the dead.” It’s been a long time since I last saw it so I don’t know how he integrated different religions into events that seemed mostly relevant to Catholicism (although I do remember that the raising the dead contest was won by a rabbi). Sadly I can’t find it on youtube…

This feud has been going on at Christendom’s holiest site for centuries.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/middle_east/article4944164.ece

I love the bit about the ladder which has remained above the main door since the 19th century!
And of course the keys to the church have been held by a Muslim family since the 12th century because the Christians don’t trust each other.
The building is in a dangerous state and the roof will probably collapse soon through lack of maintenance.
Don’t you just love Christian values? Such a haven of peace, love and understanding.

This is unfortunate. Um??? are they praying to the same God???

Well, as it says in the good book, violence solves everything

I’m torn, as an Armenian, I found myself supporting the Armenians, and as an atheist, I kind of hoped they all beat each other unconscious. As an Armenian-atheist, I do hope that we can grow beyond just defining ourselves through religion, and instead, through beneficial influences within the world. I’d rather have Armenia known as a country that has the greatest per-capita funding for science, medicine, and research and development. Wouldn’t it be great to be known for scientific and technological advancement instead of the first nation in the world to embrace the progress killing notion we now call Christianity?

Arminians believe God allows man to have free-will; Armenians have questionable cultural foods involving intestines…

Elijah told the worshippers of Ba’al that their god must be taking a crap, ’cause he certainly didn’t show up to the competition.

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