Categories
Humor Pareidolia Religion Skepticism/critical thinking

Jesus obviously likes Ikea

i-8287dfff6e9a82b26b8a7db949632ad9-JesusatIkea.jpg i-7cf01a23b94979de6541b2969fec83bd-Shroud.jpg

I don’t know how many of you have ever been to an Ikea, one the Swedish furniture stores that have sprouted across the U.S. over the last couple of decades, bringing Swedish design sensibility and off sized sheets to the the masses at affordable prices; that is, if you can stand the crowds. Apparently Jesus likes Ikea, too, as he has shown his holy visage at Ikea’s Braehead outlet, near Glasgow. More specifically, Jesus has shown up on the door to the men’s bathroom at that particular store. This provoked one of the best lines I’ve ever heard about a pareidolia experience:

Last night one shopper said: “It takes you by surprise. It is really clear in the wood.

“I was only heading to the toilet and found God.”

Why not? It’s as good a place as any to find God.

Unfortunately, not everyone agrees that it’s Jesus:

But Ikea bosses reckon it looks more like the founder of Sweden’s most famous pop group ABBA – Benny Andersson.

A spokeswoman said: “Swedishness is engrained in every part of our stores.”

Fair enough, but, really, to me the image looks more like Treebeard:

i-0d07fcf2124b110b09f50a77f6c436cb-Treebeard.jpg

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

29 replies on “Jesus obviously likes Ikea”

The forked beard reminds me a bit of the guy from Anthrax, but otherwise Treebeard is a close fit. I guess we know where the wood came from. Ikea – Made From Ents!

“I was only heading to the toilet and found God.”

If the rumors are to be believed, Elvis was on the toilet and found God.

i immediately thought it looked like an ent. and then when i scrolled down there was the picture of Treebeard.

made me chuckle.

Looks like cheap veneer. One side of the image is a mirror image of the other, two junks of veneer put together in a feeble attempt to make them blend. Take half of a lot of things and create a mirror image and you start to see weird patterns.

The pareidolia veneer Jebus is obviously holding a couple of holy hand grenades in his tiny mitts.

… Now did the Lord say, “First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall
be the number of the counting and the number of the counting
shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou
count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is
right out. Once the number three, being the number of the
counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in
the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall
snuff it.”

In John 10:9, Jesus says “I am the door …” However, I wasn’t expecting to see such a literal embodiment of this statement, and was rather expecting the door to lead somewhere nicer.

Get your minds out of the sewer-I think it looks like a man holding binoculars.

When I was a kid, our bathroom door had grain that looked like the boogie man-I think I wet the bed rather than face that by the dim light of the nightlight in the hall.

As a Glaswegian, I can confirm: it IS Benny Andersson. The proof we have been waiting for people. Benny Andersson is the way, the truth and the light.

What further sign do you need? Do you demand another miracle from Benny, after he has appeared so publicly before you? Oh ye of little faith. I’ll be glad when you’re all in Hull (Benny Andersson sends the unworthy to costal English towns known for their sea ports; Hull, Dover, Portsmouth, Southampton, Liverpool) due to your lack of faith whereas I will be rewarded with thai sweet chilli crisps (in accordance with the prophecy) for taking Benny’s hand when it was offered.

Think about it: what have you got to loose? If Benny Andersson is not a supernatural being, all you’ve lost is the brief time it takes you to sing Mamma Mia every morning (which many psychologists believe helps relieve stress and thus makes you a more moral person, such is Benny’s wisdom) which is nothing. But if Benny is the way, as he says, then you will be sent to Hull or Dover while I’ll be enjoying spicy potato snacks.

Look around the world, does it not look like it has a bit of Abba influence to it? A little? Let me put the case to you another way; why would Benny Andersson offer crisps and threaten Hull if you refuse to sing and enjoy his music. He must be either a liar, a madman or be telling the truth. He isn’t a liar – he’s got a beard, and people with beards are truthful. Moreover, it seems a strange thing to lie about, as what does he have to gain? Nothing. And he doesn’t seem mad; after all, he doesn’t foam at the mouth when walking the streets of Stockholm. Therefore he must be telling the truth.

Hail Benny! Thy truth will out!

Onwards Andersson’s Soliders,
Marching out to war….

On a related note, I thought you might enjoy the following from Mitchell and Webb

@16 – FTW! Jesus likes twiddling his nipples! Teach the debate!

Comments are closed.