Even more hysterical than Age of Autism?

Remember how I had a little fun with Katie Wright’s overheated rhetoric about Kathleen Sebelius’ request to the press that they not give equal weight to anti-vaccine cranks when they report about issues of vaccines? Her exact words, if you will recall, were:

There are groups out there that insist that vaccines are responsible for a variety of problems, despite all scientific evidence to the contrary. We (the office of Secretary of Health and Human Services) have reached out to media outlets to try to get them not to give the views of these people equal weight in their reporting.

Nothing offensive there, just a request that the media try not to yield to the temptation to indulge cranks. Now, remember how I described her little screed as being based on a straw man so massive that it could be the set piece for a remake of The Wicker Man? I think I may have found someone who surpassed her.

Meet Ralph Fucetola, who goes by the ‘nym Vitamin Lawyer. See someone who can delve even deeper into the crazy than Wright. Behold his post HHS to Media: “Censor Autism Debate!” Do you still think you live in a Free Republic? in which he favorably cites Wright’s tirade against Sebelius and then kicks it up a notch. Several notches, actually:

You may therefore conclude that the information you receive about autism and vaccines from the “mass media” and from the government is not complete and truthful. You may therefore conclude it is merely propaganda… or worse, it is part of a systemic “cover-up” of the autism and vaccine issues.

The Secretary misleading when she refers to “all scientific evidence” since she knows that contrary evidence is ignored and drug-company paid and bought “science” is given far more than its “equal weight.”

In fact, this continued cover-up will condemn thousands of children to lives limited by conditions such as autism and other known results of the highly profitable, uninsurable vaccine business.

The lady is a monster. A Tyrant. A threat to all of our lives, liberty and health. She is, in fact, with her co-conspirators in the Media of Mass Deception, a child-killing mass-murderer.

I guess that, instead of using all caps the way only the finest cranks do to emphasize a point, Mr. Fucetola discovered the HTML code for “strong emphasis” and used that as a substitute to try to make him look slightly less hysterical. It didn’t work.

Let’s take a look at this for a minute. Sebelius makes a simple observation that advocates of anti-vaccine pseudoscience are getting far more attention in the media than they deserve and makes a reasonable request to the media to cool it. That makes her a child-killing mass murderer? Load up the syringes with Haldol and get the dart gun! We’ve got a live one!

Another highly amusing aspect of Mr. Fucetola’s rant is his echoing of Wright’s “Help! Help! I’m being repressed!” whine, in which he claims that “drug company-paid” evidence is given more than its equal weight and that all the supposed scientific evidence linking vaccines to autism is ignored. It’s not ignored at all, really. It’s been examined by scientists many, many times and found wanting; virtually all of it is shoddy and worthless science, often bought and paid for by the very people who would benefit from it, such as Andrew Wakefield’s research being bought and paid for by trial lawyers and Mark and David Geier’s research being paid for by…Mark and David Geier, who are selling their “Lupron protocol” to parents of autistic children. The problem is not that the studies purporting to show that vaccines cause autism, chronic diseases, and, for all we know, male pattern baldness haven’t been examined. They’ve been given far more attention and weight than they deserve on a strictly scientific basis because of the shrill persistence of the anti-vaccine movement–and the’ve still been found to be bad science at best, possibly fraudulent at worst (Andrew Wakefield).

In any case, Mr. Fucetola just goes to show me that there can occasionally be people even nuttier than the bloggers at Age of Autism. After all, I’m not sure that even J.B. Handley at his most spittle-flecked would write something like this:

But Secretary Sebelius, as destructive and death-dealing as she is, is not the core of the problem. She is a puppet, albeit a highly paid puppet, for the controllers, the genocidalists, the Big Pharma Fiends.

You know, Big Pharma Fiends would be a simply awesome name for a rock band! (If you decide to use it for your band, I want a cut–or at least credit.) All I have to say to Mr. Fucetelo is this: You have been reported to my pharma masters. They are dispatching the Bristol-Myers-Squibb-Merck Pfizer (BMSMP) black helicopter and a special team of pharma ninjas to deal with you. In return for my service, I know I will be well rewarded, for my pharma masters are generous masters when they are pleased.

Just don’t piss them off. You wouldn’t like them when they’re pissed off.