Fear the homeopathic bomb

Oh, no. I think we have another reason to be afraid–very afraid–of homeopathy/ Apparently New Agers have developed a homeopathic bomb:

The world has been placed on a heightened security alert following reports that New Age terrorists have harnessed the power of homeopathy for evil. ‘Homeopathic weapons represent a major threat to world peace,’ said President Barack Obama, ‘they might not cause any actual damage but the placebo effect could be quite devastating.’

The H2O-bomb has been developed by the radical New Age group, The Axis of Aquarius. In a taped message to the world, their leader, Professor Hubert Pennington, said: ‘For too long the New Age movement has been dismissed as a bunch of beardy weirdy cranks and charlatans. But now we have weapons-grade homeopathy and we demand to be taken seriously.’

Homeopathic bombs are comprised of 99.9% water but contain the merest trace element of explosive. The solution is then repeatedly diluted so as to leave only the memory of the explosive in the water molecules. According to the laws of homeopathy, the more that the water is diluted, the more powerful the bomb becomes.

I wonder why no one (well, besides Charlene Werner) has ever thought of this before. A homeopathic bomb could render nuclear weapons obsolete. Heck, it could even be like the doomsday bomb in Beneath the Planet of the Apes or Dr. Strangelove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. There is that little problem of succussion to overcome, though.