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Humor Pareidolia Religion Skepticism/critical thinking

Jesus dwells not in your heart, but rather…

If there’s one thing Christians tell us, it’s that Jesus is inside each and every one of us. Who knew that this was literally true? Don’t believe me? Take a look at this MRI:

i-a20a5021d54e883c4d5a9d9834c24930-jesuslung.jpg

Apparently they’ve been wrong all these years when they said that Jesus lives in every man’s heart. He actually lives in the lung. I guess that’s all the more reason for smokers to quit smoking. You wouldn’t want to smoke out Jesus, would you?

At least this sort of pareidolia makes it difficult for believers to show up to worship, although if this patient’s identity is ever revealed it wouldn’t surprise me if he became known as some sort of miracle holy man.

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

37 replies on “Jesus dwells not in your heart, but rather…”

That’s not Jesus. It’s Old Rasputin:http://bit.ly/6sQ6Bv

If this patient was willing to give up their identity, they could make a ton of money by selling them or the tumor on ebay. All joking aside, I wish the best for this patient and family.

I think you have your anatomy wrong. Jesus’ hair definitely lives in your aorta. It looks like his beard lives in the left ventricle and his eyes are maybe pulomanry arteries?

Jesus is wearing dark glasses, which suggests that Jesus is blind and wants us to also become blind in imitation of His example.

Likewise, Jesus is covering His ears, so that He cannot hear. Or He is listening to something with headphones. It is difficult to tell which literal interpretation is appropriate for a picture.

If anyone can identify the brand of headphones (if they are headphones) or glasses (if they are glasses) Jesus is wearing, I would expect that the manufacturer would be willing to pay big bucks for this incredible testimonial. Jesus wears X brand glasses/headphones.

So, my vision might be bad, but I really can’t see any shape in this picture. Any clues were I should look?

lung Jesus appears to be wearing ear protection and a wool cap with a little bob on it, ergo, lung Jesus is a lumberjack.

Wasn’t there a connection between “spirit”, “psyche” and “breath”, in the etymology of the terms? Seems the Greeks got it right (and that is… Zeus?), only to be messed up by a couple thousand years of Christianity!

Why, just last week, I had a Christian co-worker tell me she had Jesus in her heart. I didn’t realize she could have meant it literally.

Pathologist’s report:
Slight keyhole stenosis of the L4-L5, just to the ventral of Jesus, with accompanying Messianic Spondylolisthesis. Marginal osteophyte formation near the Jesus-facet interface. Likely self-healing.

Oooh… this is someone’s real MRI. Now I feel bad…

The Placebo Journal has a regular feature of interesting images. This one seems right up its alley. That said not really seeing Jesus. Maybe The Scream?

Perhaps because I recently read a book on the Crimean War, my first impression was of a rather dejected-looking Russian.

This probably proves that Rasputin was the reincarnation of Jesus.

@17

Orac is mistaken. It is Elvis that is everywhere, is everything, is in everybody, is still the King.

Christians DON’T claim that “Jesus is inside each and every one of us”. Not every Christian uses that terminology and to those that do, He is only in the hearts of believers.

Thank you so much for clarifying that Donahue. That was going to be my point after I asked the question.

“You wouldn’t want to smoke out Jesus, would you?”

OMG the bong hits for jesus guy was right all along!!!!!

The key is telling your body there won’t be any more famines. There are two primary ways of doing this:

1. Eat real food. When you’re eating quality food and it’s assimilated efficiently, the body begins to receive what it needs to function at its best. This is one very important step in turning off the famine response. The presence of nutrient-dense food in the diet signals to the body that there is plenty of food available and there’s no need to pile on fat stores. Digestion is also an important part of this equation because you want to make sure the real food you eat is assimilated properly. Including raw and cultured foods in your diet on a regular basis can improve your digestive health and ensure you’re getting the most out of your food.

2. Reduce stress. Another folly of modern society is the intense level of stress most of us are exposed to, often since very early childhood. Stress induces the famine response as much as dieting. After all, the body doesn’t distinguish between types of stresses; the same biochemical reactions occur whether you’re stressed by your work, a difficult marriage, lack of real food, poor sleep habits or any number of stressors. So it’s very important to address this and take the appropriate steps to reducing and managing the stress in your life. Read more about the stress connection to weight loss here and here and here.

Without addressing these two components, a healthy body composition is virtually impossible to achieve. Plus, healthy food choices reduce stress, and reducing stress makes it easier to choose healthier food. So making one small change at a time really can add up, and the right choices will come more naturally over time. Granted, this involves patience and won’t produce results like “Lose 10 pounds in one week!” But it will set you on the path to lasting health.

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