The Refusers: Proving Orac’s corollary to Poe’s Law

Over the last week or so, I’ve been a bit–shall we say?–dismissive of claims by anti-vaccinationists when they insist that, really, truly, honestly, they aren’t “anti-vaccine,” usually with a wounded, indignant, self-righteous tone. Either that, or they make like the Black Knight in Monty Python and The Holy Grail by demanding the surrender of the public health community, even as limb after limb of their claims have been lopped off by the sword of science, all the while not even realizing how risible it is to demand respect for their views after they have been totally discredited scientifically and continue to suffer the death of a thousand knives with each new well-designed study that comes out and fails to find a link between vaccines and autism. Yet, they demand that we beleie them when they piously assert that they aren’t anti-vaccine.

As I pointed out last week, next week there will be the big Kahuna of yearly quackfests of the anti-vaccine movement, namely AutismOne in Chicago. As part of that quackfest, there will be an anti-vaccine rally in Grant Park on Wednesday, May 26. Truly, it is the confluence between the anti-vaccine movement and the Tea Party anti-government movement in the form of the “health freedom” movement.

And now this “American Rally for Personal Rights” has its own soundtrack:

The American Rally for Personal Rights is pleased to announce that rally speaker Michael Belkin, will for the very first time ever, be performing songs from his upcoming CD at our rally. In 1998, Michael’s daughter died only hours after receiving a required vaccine, sparked by this intensely personal encounter with the negative effects of government mandated vaccines he began a journey of public service which has included providing testimony before Congress, attending vaccine related regulatory sessions and appearing in countless media reports as a vaccine safety advocate.

His journey has found a new path in The Refusers, a musical tribute to the victims (past, present and future) of the government’s misguided mandatory vaccination policy. Inspired by his previous career as a LA session player and recording artist, Michael has brought infectious elements of funk, gospel, rock, and even a touch of punk to this project. Combining this with his pointed lyrics discussing vaccine issues and government-mandated intrusion into our personal lives, The Refusers embodies, in the great American tradition of protest music, a sound that will be heard around the world. With lyrics like “they can keep their flu vaccine” and “a vaccine needle stole my baby away,” this record will have you on your feet shouting “keep your mandates out of my body”!

You think I’m joking? I only wish I were. There are three songs listed there:

  1. Get Your Mandates Out of My Body
  2. Vaccine Gestapo
  3. We Don’t Want Their Flu Vaccine

You can actually download these songs here. Get a load of the lyrics to “Vaccine Gestapo”:

They have swastikas on their shoulders
They’re such patriotic soldiers
They’re like a militia in Montana
They’re a government agency in Atlanta

Vaccine gestapo! Vaccine gestapo!
Vaccine gestapo! Vaccine gestapo!

They’re a medical military priesthood
Just like Adolf they preach the greater good
Consciencious objectors are just little snot
Why don’t you quit complaining and go get your shots

Vaccine gestapo! Vaccine gestapo!
Vaccine gestapo! Vaccine gestapo!

Can we see your papers
Have you had all your shots?
your papers please, your papers please
Have you had all your shots?

They’re got a one track mind of domination
They say vaccines are your obligation
If a bad reaction turns you into a vegetable,
They’ll sneer and tell you you’re expendable

Vaccine gestapo! Vaccine gestapo!
Vaccine gestapo! Vaccine gestapo!
Vaccine gestapo!

Let’s just put it this way: The Clash’s immortal classic “The Guns of Brixton,” this ain’t.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry after I listened to this song. I also kept holding out hope that The Refusers were some sort of mischievous, clever parody of anti-vaccine nonsense. They aren’t. They’re dead serious. In fact, I was originally going to post these lyrics and ask you, my readers, whether they were real or whether I (or some other mischief-maker) made them up as a parody. Unfortunately, Sullivan beat me to the idea. As Ken Reibel put it, all that’s missing are the tricorner hats and muskets. It’s the soundtrack for an anti-vaccine Tea Party.

As hard as it is to believe, these lyrics are absolutely real and appear to be intended completely sincerely. The Refusers will be performing in Grant Park a mere week from today, leaving me with only two observations.

One: The anti-vaccine movement has degenerated to the point where it is impossible to distinguish real from parody. It’s just like Poe’s law with fundamentalists, only this time with antivaccinationists. If I hadn’t known that The Refusers and “Vaccine Gestapo” were real, I would have had a hard time knowing for sure whether they were real or parody. Maybe I’ll claim another law (well, a corollary, anyway) and hereby name it the Orac Corollary of Poe’s Law just for The Refusers and the merry band of antivaccinationists who will be “rocking out” (as much as you can to such lame music) at Grant Park:

Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody antivaccinationists in such a way that someone won’t mistake for the genuine article.

Two: These lyrics are so idiotic that I briefly flirted with the idea of doing a Hitler Zombie piece on this and ultimately decided that the undead Führer has more taste than that.

Finally, what’s that again about AutismOne, Age of Autism, and the “vaccines cause autism” movement not being “anti-vaccine”? In any case, this is so hilarious that anyone who can score me a copy of the complimentary Refusers CD being passed out at the anti-vaccine rally in a week will earn Orac’s eternal gratitude. I’d really love to see the artwork.