Beyond butt reflexology

Egads!

You remember my fun little post about a Sokal-type hoax perpetrated by John C. McLachlan, when he completely fooled the “scientific review” committee of a complementary and alternative medicine conference with a hilarious Sokal-inspired hoax in which he created, in essence, butt reflexology. I thought it was an amusing and fairly original bit of made-up woo.

It turns out I was wrong. A reader just pointed me to Jacqueline Stalline’s Rumpology. It turns out that she’s an astrologer, and that she thinks she can tell a lot about you by reading your rump:

Jacqueline Stallone has revived the ancient art of Rumpology. Just as a printo of your fingerprints, palms, soles, and ears tell a story, so does your rump.

I’ll bet. Stallone even invites her fans to send her pictures of their posteriors for a reading:

The lines, crevices, and folds of your fanny, rear-end for those of you in the UK, can, to the trained eye, reveal your personality, fate, and future in luck and love. So they thought in ancient India and Babylon and so today. The Greeks used palm and behind prints to determine health and fidelity. The Romans used the prints to identify potential future success. The prints reveal your whole being.

I have no doubt that a print of one’s posterior can reveal one’s whole being. Some people are real asses, after all.

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

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24 replies on “Beyond butt reflexology”

I wonder, then, what reading she gets from a certain disgusting webmeme picture from years back….

The first thing that came to mind when reading this was that perhaps this person is just some sort of twisted ass freak. I guess it would be somewhat nice to work my fetishes into a job but I think I would feel guilty doing it this way.

I hope this is not considered inappropriate, but I just cannot take this topic seriously.

Okay, now I have to go watch The Kids in the Hall sketches for a few hours.

What a deal – and only $125! I’m sure all the woo-faithful will beat a path to her door.

This was mentioned on The Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe several times. Still as ridiculous as ever

And also from the SGU the word fanny is slang for vagina in Australia.

I wonder if Ms. Stallone has ever met Sir Mix-a-Lot.

I think that’s Sly Stallone’s mum. She has previously claimed to be a pet psychic as well.
She’s beyond batty, this one.

So they thought in ancient India and Babylon and so today. The Greeks used palm and behind prints to determine health and fidelity. The Romans used the prints to identify potential future success.

What? Complete and utter nonsense – or at the very least, there’s not a single shred of evidence for such a claim. Admittedly, there are only a few things from which not at least one of the ancient cultures tried to somehow divine the future, but the butt (in the literal sense) is most assuredly one of them.

Stallone is apparently just name-dropping ancient cultures to bolster her claims – relying on her audience accepting these as authorities, obviously without knowing the first thing about them. A ploy which works with alarming frequency. Or, to quote from Scripture: “And from the seed of Abraham shall spring a woman named Stallone, who will become a fraud among frauds in the lands beyond the sea” (Mark 3:16-19)

“The lines, crevices, and folds of your fanny… can, to the trained eye, reveal your personality, fate, and future in luck and love.

This gets much funnier when you live somewhere ‘fanny’ is a general word for women’s ‘front ends’ (everything in front of the anus), not to be used in polite company.

Indeed, Simba.

Who the heck calls it a ‘rear-end’ in the UK? Don’t Americans use the word ‘bottom’?

Jackie Stallone is hilarious. Wonderfully eccentric.

Poe’s Law comes to mind.

I seem to recall a “news” piece a couple of years ago, of a blind man who read tushies on the boardwalk for a living. Nice juxtaposition of the “serious news face” on the anchors, with footage of this guy feeling up attractive women’s posteriors…

My dad used to exposit to me a lot when I was kid, “Whatever you think of, no matter how stupid or bizarre, no matter how crazy you think it is… Somebody, somewhere, has done it.”

It gets truer every day.

But… but it’s ancient…

See! You quite literally can’t make this stuff up 🙂

What’s that officer? No, I’m not a prostitute! I’m a glanologist. This man just paid me 100 dollars to read his genital bumps.

I read the title of this post, “Beyond Butt Reflexology” and thought, what does that mean exactly? Placing one’s homunculous even further up one’s ass?