Reasons to run, not walk, from a Reiki practitioner

i-e7a12c3d2598161273c9ed31d61fe694-ClassicInsolence.jpgGrant time again! Since today–yes, today!–is the deadline for a rather big grant I’m writing (not quite R01 level, but a respectable three year project if I can get it), I was up until the wee hours of the morning trying to put this sucker to bed. Being the ever-benevolent blogger, though, far be it from me to deny you some Insolence. It’ll just have to be recycled Insolence. Not just recycled Insolence, either. Old recycled Insolence, four years old, to be precise! Unbelievable! In fact, it’s so old that the links don’t even work anymore; so you’ll have to take my word for it that I quoted it accurately. On the other hand, given how old this is, if you’ve been reading less than four years, it’s new to you! In any case, I’ll be back tomorrow; that is, assuming I’ve recovered. If not, it’s more recycled Insolence.

Regular readers will know my opinion of Reiki or “energy healing.” No need to rehash it here, at least not at the moment. But if you’re a believer and looking for a Reiki practitioner, Reiki Blogger has some suggestions for you of things that “are NOT OK” in a first Reiki session:

I recently read what I can only say was a very disturbing account of a persons first ever reiki session. The person went along to a “friends” husband who was, as well as a reiki person, a medical doctor.

Now, you would expect to be reasonably confident to follow this persons instructions. Well, think again. He asked this poor lady to undress, completely, and then proceeded to give her hands on reiki, everywhere.

Yeah, I’m guessing that would be a red flag that something’s wrong. Reiki Blogger elaborates:

Nudity: Reiki does not require you to remove your clothing. Even during a massage your body is covered except for the area being worked on. If someone asks you to undress, leave. Immediately.

Inappropriate contact: Reiki can be given 1-2cm above the body. There is no need to make contact with areas of sensitivity. Genitals for one.

I’ve always had a question about Reiki. Why wouldn’t clothing interfere with the “energy” field that the Reiki master is supposedly manipulating? But that’s just me. I guess my aura needs some manipulation to cleanse me of those skeptical thoughts.

Of course, Reiki Blogger warns you to stay away as well if you hear your new Reiki master saying things like (among several others):

  • You have the aura of Jesus (do not laugh, someone has said this to me)
  • They are Jesus, Buddha, Lao Tzu (whoever) re-incarnated, or a close disciple of them re-incarnated
  • Anything about Aliens. That they help them give you reiki. They are coming to save them. They can save you.

Good warning signs, all. Of course, the most truthful and applicable warning I’ve ever heard about Reiki is to leave if you hear a Reiki practitioner say:

Reiki is going to fix you, make you all better again. (especially if you have a serious illness)

Indeed. If you hear a Reiki master say this, he or she is full of…well, you know.

ADDENDUM: You know. I kind of miss Reiki Blogger. He/she/it laid down some hilarious stuff about reiki. I wonder what happened.