Your Friday Dose of Woo: Heal your genome?

It’s been a while since I’ve done a bit of Your Friday Dose of Woo, and I actually kind of miss it. It’s not that there hasn’t been anything that hasn’t been worthy of this “honor” for a while. On the other hand, there hasn’t been anything in a while that combines just the right proportions of pure woo, utter ridiculousness, and pure pseudoscience to provide the perfect “inspiration” to start me on a roll. Oh, it’s out there, but for some reason I’ve let myself become bogged down by topics that are just too serious. It’s time to lighten up, at least for a little while.

So it was when I came across something that would be scary if it weren’t so obviously nonsense as I was in Scottsdale last weekend attending a meeting. Now, you might not know this (or you might very well know it), Arizona is woo central, so much so that it even licenses “homeopathic physicians” and even lets these quacks do surgery. Indeed, not within a couple of hours of where I stayed is Sedona, which might as well be the capital of crystal nation, and, the last I heard, the Health Ranger himself Mike Adams was living near Tucson, while the “Phaelosopher Adam Abraham” apparently lives in Phoenix. We last met him a few months ago when he was combining energy woo with The Secret.

Now, Abraham has kicked it up a notch, advertising what he calls the Genome Healing Workshop, which will take place from June 11-18 in Scottsdale. The woo is truly strong in this one:

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I love it. Not only is it “genome healing,” but it’s DNA/Stem Cell Healing! Because, apparently DNA and genome healing isn’t enough. But it goes beyond even that! How so? Well, what word is it lacking thus far? I bet you know. That’s right! It’s “based on the principles of quantum physics”! So there you have it: DNA healing, stem cell healing, and ignorant invocations of the word “quantum”! Truly, it’s the Holy Trinity of woo! I do wonder, however, what it means to “embdoy” our organs means. OK, OK, I know it’s a misspelling or a typo, but it’s a hilarious one that fits right into the general woo-iness of the entire concept. If I were publishing this stuff, I’d just go with it, I think, and use it as a made-up word that sounds impressive enough to suck in the yokels. It’s almost as impressive as this diagram that claims to show the role of consciousness in DNA:

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But what is “Genome Healing”? According to the Carol Roberts this is what it is:

Genome Healing represents an inspired approach to the restoration of health and wellbeing for the new millennium.

The technologies and techniques taught in the Genome Healing training seminars are some of the quickest and most effective methods for emotional and physical transformation yet devised.

They defy common logic and challenge our sense of what is possible, not because such changes are impossible, but because we have believed, for so long, that true healing and restoration of health, even regeneration, is impossible.

For example, if we knew it was possible to regenerate a failing kidney, liver, lungs, or heart, how likely would present transplantation practices be? On the other hand, how many people rue the day that they agreed to allow their prostate, uterus, or breasts to be removed?

Are we saying that you will regenerate such organs through Genome Healing? No. We’re saying that such regeneration is possible, period, as a function of being human. Genome Healing methods and practices represent one method by which regeneration may indeed be achieved.

Hilarious! But it’s genius as well. Imply to the marks without actually explicitly saying so that they can regenerate their failing organs. Don’t promise anything, but tell them that regeneration is “possible” and that regeneration “may indeed be achieved.” In a way, you almost have to admire the purity of the lying going on here. At least, I have to think that it’s lying, because I find it hard to believe that anyone could really believe something so utterly full of grade-A 100% nonsense. On the other hand, I always did have an overly optimistic view of humanity.

In particular, perhaps I’m too optimistic given that the quacks claiming to be able to activate “genome healing” make these further claims:

  • Healing of numerous diseases diagnosed by doctors as incurable and in their last stages
  • The regrowing of organs, i.e. gall bladders, kidneys, pancreases, lungs, female reproductive organs, fingers, spinal tissue and teeth
  • Joyful optimism and total turnaround of depression and negative emotional states

If this is true, you’d expect that Carol Roberts and those who allegedly trained her, like Arcady Petrov, would have plenty of documentations of cures of the incurable and the regrowth of lungs and reproductive organs. Dammit, if these guys can do what they say they can do, I’d expect them to show me a woman who had a documented hysterectomy get pregnant and have a baby! Instead, we have vague testimonials of people with addictions getting better or even vaguer claims of improvement in a stroke patient. Then we have this:

So who is Carol Roberts? If you believe the blurb that Abraham has written about her:

Carol Roberts is one of Australia’s leading teachers of Thought Field Therapy and one of the pioneers of meridian tapping therapies in the world. In 1999 she studied in the US under Dr. Roger Callahan the founder of energy psychology modalities and has been teaching Australia wide for the last 12 years.

In her quest for discovering the most powerful methods for emotional and physical transformation on the planet, she was privileged to be trained in the extraordinary healing techniques of Professor Grigori Grabovoi and was also one of the first English speaking people to train under Professor Arcady Petrov at his Noosferra clinic in Moscow.

Carol is a also an advanced Theta Healing Trainer, Intuitive Anatomy Instructor and Reference Point Therapy practitioner. Her courses and one on one sessions are the culmination of over 30 years of study and training under a number of powerful spiritual teachers and healing masters. Carol offers a variety of highly effective methods for healing mind, body and soul.

But what is it about? All of the imaginative but utterly meaningless word salad used to describe Carol Roberts doesn’t tell me anything about “Professor Arcady Petrov.” Oddly enough, even after having been at this for over seven years, I don’t recall ever having heard of this guy either. When I found his video Light of Eternity, I realized that his video alone could be the topic of at least one post. However, it appears to be necessary to provide the CliffsNotes version:

The main premise of Russian Organ Regeneration is that there is a state of divine perfection from which one deviates in illness and to which it is possible to return. The name for this state of perfection is “the Creator’s norm”. The second premise is that the healing of anyone benefits all of Creation, as it helps return Creation to the norm of perfection that the Creator intended. The third premise is that we are co-creators with the Creator, and therefore have a say in how things unfold.

The method works in part by going back to the time before the illness started, to the first event which caused one to deviate from the Creator’s norm. From that point in time a different path is chosen, the path that leads one back to the state of health that is the Creator’s norm. This is similar to some Hawaiian huna practices. In huna if you injure yourself you replay the scenario in your mind in a way that avoids the injury altogether. The body can then be tricked into behaving as if the injury never happened. But this requires a certain kind of concentration that most people are not able to produce. Some of the practices of Russian Organ Regeneration, meditations developed by Grigori Grabovoi, focus on developing this level of concentration.

Oh, yes. Methinks I might have to look into this Russian healing a bit more closely. It sounds truly woo-ful.

In the meantime, I ask myself: Do these people really believe this magical mystical pseudoscience, or are they hucksters making an easy buck from credulous marks? Inquiring minds want to know!

I know which option I vote for.