Mike Adams says that the “fun will begin” on January 7, 2014. For once, I agree with him on something.

This one’s too brief to be worth a full Orac-ian deconstruction, but it’s so juicy that I can’t resist mentioning. Regular readers know that Mike Adams, the all-purpose crank who founded NaturalNews.com, is a frequent target topic on this blog. The reason is obvious. Whether it be his support of quackery, his rants against vaccines, his vile attacks on cancer patients, or his New World Order conspiracy mongering and support of the radical fringe in US politics, no one brings home the crazy quite like Mike Adams, and no one brings home such a wide variety and vast quantity of crazy, with the possible exception of Alex Jones, on whose website and web radio show Adams is a frequent guest.

This morning, I learned that Mike Adams is promising “revolutionary, civilization-altering scientific breakthroughs.” Not only that, but he promises that he will announce it in a mere two months, on January 7, 2014:

For the next two months (November and December, 2013), I will be involved in the final phase of intense scientific research which will result in a series of breakthrough announcements beginning on January 7, 2014. I’m letting you know this because my schedule of posting my own articles will be reduced until that time (I will continue to post other people’s articles on a daily basis, however).

This research is the project I had initially stated would be announced before the end of calendar 2013. I’ve delayed it one week to give everyone a chance to sober up after the New Year. The news we will announce will radically reshape 2014 in many positive ways.

As I’ve hinted before, this announcement will rock several industries, including grocery food, fast food, dietary supplements, health care and even mental health. It will empower consumers, it will save countless lives and it will improve human civilization in a significant way. It will make the invisible visible for the first time in the history of our world.

He also promises that, really and truly, it will be SCIENCE, maaaaan. One wonders what sort of “revolutionary research” he can guarantee to be finished and announced on January 7, even though, per his own report, he’s still working on it. Let’s see:

What I am about to announce is groundbreaking original scientific research which will change the course of food history. After this announcement is made, universities will immediately begin to work on replicating and furthering the research, and science journals around the world will seek to publish the findings.

This is not simply derivative research. It will unveil revolutionary new concepts in food science which will quickly become common knowledge because of their importance in understanding how food really impacts individuals, ecosystems, nations and entire civilizations.

This is not “voodoo science” or “woo woo” gobbledygook. All the research is being conducted according to conventional scientific principles and will rapidly be validated and replicated by other scientists and universities around the world. Before being released, my research is also being validated by independent third parties as well as through the use of multiple internal validation standards.

The reason I am reducing the frequency of stories I will post until January 7, 2014 is because almost everything I might possibly write between now and then is irrelevant compared to the importance and profoundness of the research I will unveil beginning in January.

You know, I’ve often pointed out that Mike Adams is full of hubris. Truly, his arrogance of ignorance is unsurpassed by anyone that I’ve yet encountered. I mean, think about it. The last attempt by Mike Adams to do “groundbreaking scientific research” consisted of his buying some Chicken McNuggets, putting them under a stereomicroscope, and then marveling at the strange things he saw, the way that Antonie van Leeuwenhoek marveled at what he saw under his primitive microscope over 300 years ago. Of course, van Leeuwenhoek had the excuse that these things had not been observed before. Mike Adams had no such excuse for mistaking seasoning for evil black and red dots and confusing what was likely either dust or fibers from the meat or breading for Morgellons’ disease fibers. Truly, hilarity did ensue. Also note that he’s not going to be publishing this in the peer-reviewed literature. No doubt he’ll portray that as a plot by The Man to keep his earth-changing findings down.

Near the end, Adams states that “the fun begins on January 7, 2014.” This is one of the rare times when I actually agree with him. In fact, I can hardly wait and have put a note on my iPhone calendar to remind me to be on the lookout for Adams’ announcement. I’m guessing that the entertainment value will be beyond the human mind’s ability to comprehend. Or maybe not. But I bet it’ll be damned entertaining regardless. Think about it. If Adams has no clue how to use a simple microscope and is too arrogant to consult—oh, you know—an actual scientist who knows what he’s looking at under such a microscope in order to avoid making a fool of himself, just imagine how epically incompetent his report on January 7 will be.

Holy hell, you don’t think that Mike Adams has gotten his hands on a real time PCR machine, do you?