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Mike Adams says that the “fun will begin” on January 7, 2014. For once, I agree with him on something.

This one’s too brief to be worth a full Orac-ian deconstruction, but it’s so juicy that I can’t resist mentioning. Regular readers know that Mike Adams, the all-purpose crank who founded NaturalNews.com, is a frequent target topic on this blog. The reason is obvious. Whether it be his support of quackery, his rants against vaccines, his vile attacks on cancer patients, or his New World Order conspiracy mongering and support of the radical fringe in US politics, no one brings home the crazy quite like Mike Adams, and no one brings home such a wide variety and vast quantity of crazy, with the possible exception of Alex Jones, on whose website and web radio show Adams is a frequent guest.

This morning, I learned that Mike Adams is promising “revolutionary, civilization-altering scientific breakthroughs.” Not only that, but he promises that he will announce it in a mere two months, on January 7, 2014:

For the next two months (November and December, 2013), I will be involved in the final phase of intense scientific research which will result in a series of breakthrough announcements beginning on January 7, 2014. I’m letting you know this because my schedule of posting my own articles will be reduced until that time (I will continue to post other people’s articles on a daily basis, however).

This research is the project I had initially stated would be announced before the end of calendar 2013. I’ve delayed it one week to give everyone a chance to sober up after the New Year. The news we will announce will radically reshape 2014 in many positive ways.

As I’ve hinted before, this announcement will rock several industries, including grocery food, fast food, dietary supplements, health care and even mental health. It will empower consumers, it will save countless lives and it will improve human civilization in a significant way. It will make the invisible visible for the first time in the history of our world.

He also promises that, really and truly, it will be SCIENCE, maaaaan. One wonders what sort of “revolutionary research” he can guarantee to be finished and announced on January 7, even though, per his own report, he’s still working on it. Let’s see:

What I am about to announce is groundbreaking original scientific research which will change the course of food history. After this announcement is made, universities will immediately begin to work on replicating and furthering the research, and science journals around the world will seek to publish the findings.

This is not simply derivative research. It will unveil revolutionary new concepts in food science which will quickly become common knowledge because of their importance in understanding how food really impacts individuals, ecosystems, nations and entire civilizations.

This is not “voodoo science” or “woo woo” gobbledygook. All the research is being conducted according to conventional scientific principles and will rapidly be validated and replicated by other scientists and universities around the world. Before being released, my research is also being validated by independent third parties as well as through the use of multiple internal validation standards.

The reason I am reducing the frequency of stories I will post until January 7, 2014 is because almost everything I might possibly write between now and then is irrelevant compared to the importance and profoundness of the research I will unveil beginning in January.

You know, I’ve often pointed out that Mike Adams is full of hubris. Truly, his arrogance of ignorance is unsurpassed by anyone that I’ve yet encountered. I mean, think about it. The last attempt by Mike Adams to do “groundbreaking scientific research” consisted of his buying some Chicken McNuggets, putting them under a stereomicroscope, and then marveling at the strange things he saw, the way that Antonie van Leeuwenhoek marveled at what he saw under his primitive microscope over 300 years ago. Of course, van Leeuwenhoek had the excuse that these things had not been observed before. Mike Adams had no such excuse for mistaking seasoning for evil black and red dots and confusing what was likely either dust or fibers from the meat or breading for Morgellons’ disease fibers. Truly, hilarity did ensue. Also note that he’s not going to be publishing this in the peer-reviewed literature. No doubt he’ll portray that as a plot by The Man to keep his earth-changing findings down.

Near the end, Adams states that “the fun begins on January 7, 2014.” This is one of the rare times when I actually agree with him. In fact, I can hardly wait and have put a note on my iPhone calendar to remind me to be on the lookout for Adams’ announcement. I’m guessing that the entertainment value will be beyond the human mind’s ability to comprehend. Or maybe not. But I bet it’ll be damned entertaining regardless. Think about it. If Adams has no clue how to use a simple microscope and is too arrogant to consult—oh, you know—an actual scientist who knows what he’s looking at under such a microscope in order to avoid making a fool of himself, just imagine how epically incompetent his report on January 7 will be.

Holy hell, you don’t think that Mike Adams has gotten his hands on a real time PCR machine, do you?

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

127 replies on “Mike Adams says that the “fun will begin” on January 7, 2014. For once, I agree with him on something.”

“What I am about to announce is groundbreaking original scientific research which will change the course of food history. After this announcement is made, universities will immediately begin to work on replicating and furthering the research, and science journals around the world will seek to publish the findings.”>/i>

Anyone here would like to accept a bet that this is pretty unlikely?

Anyone…?

“Holy hell, you don’t think that Mike Adams has gotten his hands on a real time PCR machine, do you?”

Nope, more likely a better microscope and a BigMac.

Argh, I so hate the lack of a preview when posting a comment. Sorry for screwing up the formating but I am sure you will figure out what is a citation from Orac´s post and what is my comment.

I will also be bold enough and give my own prediction… I will be heartily laughing that day. Then I’ll go on to use his “science” to show how “not science” is done.

Mark my words.

“this announcement will rock several industries’ saith Mikey.

Right. I’m sure it will.
Mikey’s business plan rather closely resembles Null’s: broadcast frightening material about products that people depend upon, factors that threaten their security and which questions the future availability of resources they require.

Then, sell them products that replace the dangerous ones or teach them how to overcome all of the obstacles- physical, emotional, social, environmental or political- that you harp upon day after day after day.

Scare’em,then ‘sell’ ’em.

Look at his store @ NN:
perhaps he’ll be selling toxin-free, organic, GMO-free, high ORAC foods/supplements/ clothing that resonate at JUST the precise frequency for healing.

Let me guess … he has seen all the movies, some several times, and looked into his own blood, saw something he didn’t recognize, and will soon declare that midi-chlorians are real, and he has a whole lot of them. He has long suspected he was a Jedi but he doesn’t want to start out telling people he is a Jedi, that would lack a sense of humility that Jedi are known for and might dilute the message when the contradiction was understood. So he is going with the midi-chlorians.

His follow up, the part dealing with food and nutrition, is his further discovery that midi-chlorians are in certain foods grown in certain areas. He has quietly bought up most of those properties and thinks he is going to make a killing with foods that can put midi-chlorians into your blood and make you a Jedi, just like Mike.

My prediction is that somewhere about January 14th, once the announcements are made and people get a look at it, certain biologists will realize that what Mister Adams has discovered is not midi-chlorians but a not all that rare form of bacteria that can take up housekeeping in the human bloodstream if you eat unwashed and uncooked vegetables from a field polluted by infected animal wastes.

The bad news is that midi-chlorians are still just a ham-handed science fiction conceit that allows eugenics to take their rightful place alongside slavery in the hell-scape that is the Star Wars universe. The good news is that Mister Adams is not a Jedi, he likely to be very sick for a very long time, and the very special farmland he bought is simply low-grade cropland that is contaminated with a disease causing bacteria.

We could have a contest to guess what this great “research revelation” will be, though it’s hard to figure what can top McNugget microscopy. Perhaps Popeye’s PCR or McRib MRI.

The suspense is….nonexistent.

I am vacation-hungover in an airport terminal, and this post is my first venture back into real life and reality.

HA!

Plus, this pretty much seals the deal for me on him actually having something in the DSM. Hubris isn’t a strong enough term to encompass his delusion. I do so also like how it was posted on November 5th. Remember, remember, the 5th of November…the day anarachists celebrate a man trying to overthrow the oppressive establishment…and install an arguably more oppressive establishment in its place.

Mike Adams would not know what “revolutionary, civilization-altering scientific advances” were if they hit him on the head.

You know what kinds of scientific advances are “revolutionary” and “civilization-altering”? I’ll tell you. Splitting the atom. The discovery of DNA’s double helix. The printing press. Gunpowder. The Internet. 3-D printing (well, the jury’s still out on that one).

Rest assured, whatever Mikey’s working on, it’s nothing like any of these.

Consider me another one of those who’ll be getting a good laugh come January 7….

The reason I am reducing the frequency of stories I will post until January 7, 2014 is because almost everything I might possibly write between now and then is irrelevant compared to the importance and profoundness of the research I will unveil beginning in January.

Oh dear. He’s reducing the frequency of his posts not because he’s gonna be really busy getting ready for the Big Announcement, and not because he doesn’t want to spoil the surprise, but because everything he could possibly say pales in significance next to what he will say in January.

It would take a mountain to a crush an ego like his.

I can’t help but remember all the other folks I’ve seen promising massive, world-altering scientific revelations on a specific date, only to have them vanish when the date arrived. Could we be so lucky again? 😉

I’ve done what I can: I forwarded the Jan. 7th announcement to associates in the biotech department at our local university, so that they can mark their calendars and make preparations to scrap their current research and “immediately begin to replicate and further” Mikey’s “profound” and “revolutionary” findings.

I hope somebody is notifying scientific journals around the world so they can be sure to ask Mikey if they can publish his findings.

I’m afraid I wasn’t really paying attention fourteen years ago — did he get this loopy over Y2K?

The fun will truly begin when Mike announces his groundbreaking scientific discovery and scientists around the world do _not_ flock to replicate his “findings”.

The conspiracy-mongering Adams has engaged in up till now will pale next to what he’ll project when his fantasy Nobel turns to ashes.

One can only guess what revolutionary achievement he thinks he’s on the cusp of, but if I had to guess, it’ll be a brand-new micro/subatomic particle, similar to Larry Arnold’s “pytrotron” that was supposed to explain spontaneous human combustion. Maybe Mike’s version will be the toxitron, a particle that is generated in commercially produced (and especially in genetically modified) foods, pharma drugs and vaccines, and causes all diseases known to man. But NN’s new superwellness formulas will be able to detoxify toxitrons!!!

Gosh, the suspense is agonizing.

So… what ate the chances this announcement will coincide with the launch of a new product line?

This is not “voodoo science” or “woo woo” gobbledygook.

Care to place a bet on that, Mikey?

Two questions:

1. What if *everyone* began their submitted papers with:
“This is not voodoo science or woo woo gobbledygook”

2. Who are these independent third parties who will validate the earth shaking findings?

I’m afraid I wasn’t really paying attention fourteen years ago — did he get this loopy over Y2K?

Almost, but not quite. He’s upped his crazy game since then.

I came across this blog by accident looking up information on ORAC. How is it that you all know about Mike Adams and his research? You must have been on the same research as me and have some idea, or I would think you did, for the remarks you are making. I can’t wait for January 7th just to see who is going to have egg on their faces but I think it will take longer then that to really see or believe his research. I think you would have to get really sick and apply natural treatment and nutritional values to your life and survive this way of life and maybe you will come to know what he is talking about. You have to abandon all what you know and don’t know to see that. You are all blind and ignorant as I once was but if you ever get really sick and have no resources left especially after your doctor has make you sicker with traditional treatments; remember this day.

Interesting side note: When Ray Tomlinson wrote a program for sending a directed information packet across the ARPAnet in 1971, he considered it a fairly minor accomplishment, just a typical day’s work. Most of us know what was brought forth by his simple development. It just goes to show, people who really make world-changing innovations and discoveries rarely realize the scope of their accomplishment at the time.

Meanwhile, people like Mike Adams who boast of their great new inventions rarely become more than historical footnotes.

Meanwhile, people like Mike Adams who boast of their great new inventions rarely become more than hysterical footnotes

I hope there is nothing historical about Adams.

To me it sounds like he created something… possibly something that others could *shudders* – purchase. I hate to even speculate any farther than that.

Announcements like this always smack of those 2012 rapture predictions.

Either that or the birfers who keep insisting that they have a MAJOR COMPELLING INDISPUTABLE EARTHSHATTERING piece of evidence that will finally get that illegally-elected Mooslum Kenyan gay socialist out of the White House. And they’re going to reveal it, any day now.

@Christina

Probably a new male enhancement pill that’s “all natural” (may contain viagra).

@Darcy I can’t wait for January 7th just to see who is going to have egg on their faces

Sorry Darcy. Orac debunked Mike Adams’ egg-based wrinkle reducing mask recipe years ago, so the yolks on you.

Darcy @17:
I came across this blog by accident looking up information on ORAC.

So this comment, and the pro-Amish screed one two threads ago, are simply trolling? Imagine my disappointment.

His claim that “science journals around the world will seek to publish the findings” tells me that he doesn’t know how peer-reviewed literature works — he thinks that academic journals will be contacting him to publish his findings, not that he will have to submit his work to journals for peer review.

But this is not the first time he’s revealed ignorance in how science works.

“Announcements like these always smack of those 2012 rapture predictions”.

Speaking of predictions, wonder how Mike Adams’ “dark predictions” for 2013 have worked out (true, we have nearly two months to go, but it looks like his crystal ball has been a bit cloudy)?

Mike predicted, among other things:

Martial law declared across America, mandatory nationwide gun confiscation, tactical weapon strike on Iran, massive false flag attack carried out in USA and blamed on patriots, DHS arms the TSA and begins insane abuses of Americans on roadway checkpoints, attacks on the First Amendment accelerate as government seizes websites (NN to be among the sites seized, natch), disagreement with the government characterized a “mental disorder” etc. etc.

Mike hedges his bets with a few of these by suggesting the worst may not happen until 2015, and other predictions are so generic that he actually gets a couple right, i.e. more heated rhetoric between skeptics and loons, and #19:
“Solar weather gets nasty: Solar flares threaten communications”

That’s a risky prediction, seeing that solar flares threaten communications practically every year or so. Picking that right is akin to predicting that a tornado will hit a mobile home park, or that clocks will be set ahead for Daylight Savings Time.

Of course Mike will have excuses for his hilariously off-base predictions; in addition to pushing ahead the dates, he can always claim that the evil gummint was scared off by his publicizing its conspiracies.

http://www.naturalnews.com/038512_2013_predictions_insanity.html#ixzz2joRmDROg

So many possibilities.

What has a roughly 60-day, time-consuming course of treatment?

For the next two months (November and December, 2013), I will be involved in the final phase of intense scientific research which will result in a series of breakthrough announcements beginning on January 7, 2014.

Ya right because all Earth-shattering, ground-breaking, paradigm-shifting, revolutionary research projects only take two months. And I guess he couldn’t count on his readers to figure out that the next two months would be…hold on…November and December 2013?

Oh that Mikey, I can’t wait.

Looks like someone is a little jealous of Mike Adams. People call him crazy while they usually tend to ignored armor clad soldiers dressed in black carrying machine guns infiltrate vitamin stores and dairy farms all becuse the FDA doesn;t like when people treat colds with herbal supplements not drink raw milk from non GMO fed cows. We can’t have that now can we? Who’s crazy now.

“All the research is being conducted according to conventional scientific principles and will rapidly be validated and replicated by other scientists and universities around the world.”

Validated and replicated by the same folks he’s dismissed as unscrupulous profiteers and charlatans? Perhaps Richard Dawkins will reveal a new Gospel on the same day.

armor clad soldiers dressed in black carrying machine guns infiltrate vitamin stores and dairy farms

I always find that the armour, the black Ninja suits, and the machine guns make it easy to evade detection while infiltrating my targets.

Darcy,

I can’t wait for January 7th just to see who is going to have egg on their faces but I think it will take longer then that to really see or believe his research.

Adams is a buffoon. He is no more likely to make a real scientific discovery than he is to fly to the moon under his own volition.

You are all blind and ignorant as I once was

Sadly you don’t realize yet that you are still blind and ignorant. You still appear to be under the illusion that because conventional medicine isn’t perfect, and sometimes lets us down, alternative ‘natural’ medicine must be effective. It isn’t. It really, really isn’t.

but if you ever get really sick and have no resources left especially after your doctor has make you sicker with traditional treatments; remember this day.

Please look up post hoc fallacy and ponder a while on whether your health might possibly have recovered with time, and the woo crankery ‘natural’ medicine you consumed had absolutely nothing to do with it. Or perhaps you are like the many people I have encountered who been cured by conventional medicine but somehow manage to give ‘natural’ medicine the credit.

Larry,

People call him crazy while they usually tend to ignored armor clad soldiers dressed in black carrying machine guns infiltrate vitamin stores and dairy farms

Well, I was taught it’s rude to stare, but if you can show me any substantiated accounts of soldiers infiltrating either vitamin stores or dairy farms, I might be inclined to answer answer your question,

Who’s crazy now.

a little more charitably.

“As I’ve hinted before, this announcement will rock several industries, including grocery food, fast food, dietary supplements, health care and even mental health. It will empower consumers, it will save countless lives ”
If it will save COUNTLESS lives is it ethical to hold off on the news for a week while we all recover from too much holiday celebration? hmm..

Mikey recently promised NOT to write about political topics any more**- yet over the past few days, he has broadcast that “doctors will be forced at gunpoint,,,”starving hoards will overwhelm food banks …and other gems.
So much for promises.’

He ramps up histrionics like the accomplished drama queen he is. One of his *betes noires* has been airport security – now, in the wake of the fatal shooting of such an agent in (the People’s Republic of) California, he is strangely silent on the issue whilst he shrieks about other instances of governmental fascism. Much will happen “at gunpoint” he predicts: vaccination most often.

Yes, I agree: he is a buffoon. Amongst his bragadocious drivelings are his professed “studies ” in physics and cognitive psychology: I can vouch that he knows little about the latter other than what can be read quickly in a pop science magazine or wikipedia. Teenagers who cram for exams know more about human cognition than he does. And -btw- I am not impressed by his discussion of physics either.

Mikey will do or say anything to make people admire him so that they will buy his products and media. That’s it.
He’s a saleaman who masquerades as a scientist-rebel leader-freedomfighter-natural living- farmer-down home, folksy boy- rapper- spiritual explorer or whatever else will sell his bill of goods.

** and WHO informed you of that ( ahem!) so you didn’t have to slog through his steaming barrels of tripe yourself?
AND I do believe that I was the first to call him ‘Mikey’.

January 7. My guess is that he’s cloned and/or reanimated Elvis, who’s birthday is January 8. It will give us 24 hours to prepare for his triumphant return.

I guess she’s now available to join Mike Adams on the presidential ticket for 2016. Vote Adams/Finn?

EMERGENCY MESSAGE BEGINS—————————-

Shills and Minions,

The Dread Primate Adams must be stopped. I have just left a meeting of the Extraterran Chamber of Commerce and I must say the mood was not pretty. The representatives of the 7 Marauding Worlds are all in abject terror of what may come next January 7. The Kthrxxxx Hive Queen wants to send in swarms of her incisor drones to quell what will surely be riots in the streets, and the Vermakksin Demipentium are considering fractal encasement of the entire planet as early as next month. My Terran Council are, as usual, no help whatsoever. The Rothschilds can think of nothing but what will become of their own scrawny necks when Adams reveals his research, and the Egg Mother of the Windsors responded by actually looking up from her needlepoint and raising an eyebrow. Total. Utter. Panic.

Domina Walter, DL, etc., etc., I will rely on you and your squadron to “handle” this before it spins out of control. Select the finest, and I do mean finest of the Shills and Minions for this life or death task. Adams must be captured and brought to Terrabase DIA . . . alive (or at least still breathing). His research must never see the light of day or it will be the end of all our hard work. I shall have to return to Glaxxon Prime where Her Imperial Highness Clopidogra XXIII will be required to bite my head off as an example to the rest of the Mavoons in the outer rim. It will all be terribly sad, and Astra will be forced to find a new consort. Yes, her motherline will go on, but with considerably less . . . élan.

Do what you must, but neutralize this menace once and for all. Know this Shills and Minions; your lives of lavish luxury and endless debauchery depends on doing exactly what Domina Walter demands of you.

Stop Adams NOW!

Lord Draconis Zeneca, VH7ihL
Forward Mavoon of the Great Fleet, Pharmaca Magna of Terra, Looks Bad Without Head

Glaxxon PharmaCOM Terrabase DIA
0100110001110000111100000111110000000111111

—————————EMERGENCY MESSAGE ENDS

#17 Darcy: “I think you would have to get really sick and apply natural treatment and nutritional values to your life and survive this way of life and maybe you will come to know what he is talking about.”

Oh my, no! There’s no need for anyone to get sick at all. We would all very, very happily believe Adams if he were to produce a few well-designed, peer-reviewed trials published in top-tier, reputable medical journals.

It’s simple as that!

“Who’s crazy now.” Larry, Larry, Larry….such a loaded question. How are Moe and Curly?

Darcy, the “groundbreaking original scientific research” is probably for a new device to help people remove their head from their rectum. And just like in “The Hair Club for Men”, not only will he be the owner, but a user as well.

“It will make the invisible visible for the first time in the history of our world.”

Maybe he plans to start a new religion? I mean an overt religion as opposed to the covert religion(s) of Woo, which have to pretend they are scientific not religious otherwise the government will back off from supporting them.

Maybe he can call it the United Natural Churquegogue of Califlorida (Inc) Ltd. The faithful can march across the length and breadth, dressed in sackcloth and no shoes (bare feet are Natural, but going totally bare is not a Good Idea), gathering adherents along the way. There would be preaching in the towns and at the crossroads on the holy text, “Beauty is Truth, Truth Beauty, That is all you know and all you Need to Know”.

At the end of their long march Mikael Adami, standing on a pedestal and dressed in a flowing white toga, would greet them. Then they would all fall down and scatter rose petals around the Feet of him who has revealed unto them The Truth about all the devils that seek to devour them, and so made the invisible visible.

#44 Kelly M Bray,
““Who’s crazy now.” Larry, Larry, Larry… such a loaded question. How are Moe and Curly?”
***************************************
I’m holding my sides and crying with laughter.
Absolutely perfect response…
The right amount of sarcasm followed by an hilarious punchline.

Thanks.

It will make the invisible visible for the first time in the history of our world.

Maybe it’s a gadget to allow people to find their own backsides in a dark room using both hands.

Maybe it’s a gadget to allow people to find their own backsides in a dark room using both hands

How on earth would he test that? Seeing as his head is permanently lodged inside his own backside.

If it will save COUNTLESS lives is it ethical to hold off on the news for a week while we all recover from too much holiday celebration? hmm..

not only that. One of the NN commenters warns:

I’d post it NOW. Get yourself on alex jones or some other program as soon as possible for your own safety please . You may be suicided before then if its as world changing as you say.

Other commentators are also having a go at guessing what this revolutionary discovery might be. I liked the (apparently serious) one about how it’s a phone app or meter that can detect and neutralise GMOs and toxins in food. Sounds exactly like something Mikey would think up.

You may be suicided before then if its as world changing as you say. I understand the group we’re dealing with here, but I’m still confused as to how one is “suicided.”

And, just another indication of how these people honestly believe they are WAY more important than they are/truly deluded. While we’re playing the conspiracy game, I’ll propose a Big Shadow Agency of the Week won’t waste an “off” on him.

So Mikey is promising “a series of breakthrough announcements beginning on January 7, 2014”?

Outside of Mikey’s bubble world, we call that a normal Tuesday.

Maybe Mikey is crazy like a fox. Announcing his announcement in advance will give the forces of Lord Draconis plenty of time to thwart his efforts. He boosts his readership and adoration over the next two months and when he comes up with another chicken nugget-esque “study result” then he can cry foul. Sorry I’m just trying to view the situation from his side of the cray-cray.

My dearest Lord Draconis:

I think that you and the other…uh.. creatures are being much too histrionic in response to Mikey’s announcement- calm down, do you want your scales to get all ruffled and crackly and RUINED-?

Really, he predicted an earth-shattering scientific breakthrough and showed us chicken under a microsope;
he predicts earth-shattering scientific breakthroughs and/ or revolutions every other week. Do they ever occur?

Mike has been buying up discarded instruments from universities’ surplus departments:
I imagine that he will use them just as he used the microscope- i.e wrongly- and then extrapolate from his observations to support his usual cockamamie *idees fixees*. Been there, done that- several dozen times.

On the other hand, it might be hilarious for some of your minions to take a peek at El Rancho Miguel -it’s outside Austin where there are music venues and other woo-meisters to laugh at. They could pretend to be in search of his wisdom- or storeable dry goods products- and have a talk with him.

I would go with Narad and PGP- the right combination to addle his brains. Oh wait, they’re already addled. But those two like to laugh.

My Lord, now that that’s out of the way, re “lavish luxury and endless debauchery”:

Saturnalia’s on its way…do you want a floating pontoon boat party at Branson’s place or a burning man/ wicker man fest on the Isle of Wight?
Or in Mendocino? Imagine that- lots of stuff burning amidst the crashing waves and deteriorating fishers’ shacks- great photo ops. We could get dressed up as 19th century folk.

At any rate, I do believe that Mike’s latest is merely another crass attempt at selling products as well as himself- nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t be surprised though about him creating his own religion; heh.

Much love,
yours in well-funded obesiance,
DW

I understand the group we’re dealing with here, but I’m still confused as to how one is “suicided.”

Based on the context, “to suicide” means to kill or cause to disappear in such a way that it appears the person has taken his/her/its own life. This would be an alternative to killing in a way that appears to be a result of mischance or accident, another concept favored by those who believe there is an effective conspiracy that will stop at nothing to prevent people from Revealing The Truth.

Based on the context, “to suicide” means to kill or cause to disappear in such a way that it appears the person has taken his/her/its own life. This would be an alternative to killing in a way that appears to be a result of mischance or accident, another concept favored by those who believe there is an effective conspiracy that will stop at nothing to prevent people from Revealing The Truth. I’m really getting tired of them highjacking perfectly good words and covering them in stupid cray-cray.

Denise, maybe Mike got his hand on one of Lord Draconis’s lizard men. And guess what, under a microscope they look just like chicken, at least when breaded and fried.
No wonder LD is slightly miffed, he wants to keep that common ancestry hidden, no good if people find out you’re not really a descendent of t-rex but some little feathered squirrel.

Does he have time to line up Smith, Shiva, Seralini and Carman for the press conference?? That would be a hoot!!

Mikey has officially gone off the deep end:

“In fact, the only reason I am able to conduct this intense scientific research is because I have already achieved the profound cognitive and consciousness benefits these breakthroughs deliver. Ask yourself: How does an activist journalist suddenly become a doctorate-level researcher and scientist engaged in breakthrough food science discoveries? The answer will be explained in the announcements beginning on January 7, 2014. (And no, this does not involve any hallucinogenic substances, meditative practice or altered states of any kind.)”

The food science discovery sounds like the old joke on the beneficial properties of herring heads:
Two guys on the train, one of them opens his lunch box and starts eating herring – but carefully saving the heads. The fellow passenger inquires about it, and is told that herring heads greatly help with brain function and intellectual power. After some haggling the eater sells the heads for a dollar a pop. The passenger forces them down, and suddenly realizes: “For a dollar each I could have bought whole herrings!” To which the other one replies “See, they’re already working”
I’m sure we’ll see that effect on Mike.

I like that this apparently ground shaking and good for all of us announcement will be meted out, apparently, piece meal

“I will unveil beginning in January”

So, he knows something good for the world and is going to parcel it out slowly.

Real humanitarian in action right there.

@ #17 Darcy

…”your doctor has make you sicker with traditional treatments”

I had that happen.

I went to an ER (Western medical type) with an amorphous pain.

A short while after they started poking prodding and IV’ing, the pain became mind searingly intense

They proceeded to drug me to near incoherence and I began to have mild hallucinations.

At which point I was sedated and my body was cut into in multiple places. This concluded with a medically induced paranoid stage.

WOW, it was intense and I was very glad to be released.

Of course, the reasonable way to state that is that I went to the ER with an unknown pain centered under my sternum, they ran an EKG and bloodwork and ruled out cardiac issues. A short while later the pain intensified as my gall bladder exploded.

After some morphine and dilaudid, I was anesthetized and surgery, laproscopic, was performed to remove the gangrenous gall bladder remnants, stones, and inspect and clean up the rest of the mess. And yes, I had mild hallucinatory events and a paranoid episode for a little while after the surgery. so what? It was unpleasant, but a heck of a lot better than gangrene in my guts, and the pain, that everlasting agony, was gone.

And of course I was glad to go home, isn’t everyone?

Translated Mike Adams:

“For … years now I’ve been constantly, and I hope dispassionately, considering this very problem, and I have come to the unalterable conclusion that man is unfit as yet to receive such knowledge — such almost limitless power.
“Such portions … as I may, from time to time (beginning January 7th), deem suitable and safe I shall dispense to Earth. Other portions, I shall withhold. And in this, I shall be answerable exclusively to my own conscience and judgment.”

How does an activist journalist suddenly become a doctorate-level researcher and scientist engaged in breakthrough food science discoveries? Easy. Krell technology! Beware, Mikey! Beware the monsters from the id!

@ Richard Smith:

Ha ha. I love that movie.

Anyway, I consulted my ancient Anglo-Norman** ancestral mode of divination to discern what will come to pass-

– Mikey has an instrument that measures levels of oxygen
– he has a microscope
– he reads Sheldrake ( resonances)
– he has a show ( for pay) on GAIAM TV
– he has followed the work of Gary Null

Side note: Null discussed his work at the Institute of Applied Biology wherein he measured the frequencies of various types of food- fast food, vegetables, organics etc.
he also was in contact with Johnnie, with the widow of Bernarr/d Mc/Mac Fadden who allowed him to look at BM’s voluminous notes about the healing frequencies of various foods, herbs and substances.
– “Rife” is not material for jokes amongst these folks.

Peering into the future I see:

he’ll measure levels of oxygen, ‘resonances and frequencies’, crystalline structure and possibly, “spirit” of different types of food-
organic fruits and vegetables, processed meats, fast foods, GMO vs GMO- free, ORAC level, etc
yielding a list – best to worst.

he’ll then reveal that his consumption of the best has turned him into a superbeing in close touch with other superior beings across the universe/ multiverse.

This wisdom will be doled out in episodes on GAIAM TV.
You will be able to purchase the Rule Book, freeze dried best foods/ supplements and tickets*** to hear him expound his truth live. All over North America! ( He wouldn’t dare go to Europe- too socialist)

** called ‘ understanding English’.
*** private audiences cost more.

#62 I’ve always felt that “activism” and “journalism” are not compatible, but that’s just one reporter’s opinion, I guess.

Why can’t people just be advocates, activists, blogger-activists, writer-advocates? Why co-opt “journalist” anyway?

I hate that word anyway, but people using it like that is part of why.

“After some morphine and dilaudid, I was anesthetized and surgery, laproscopic, was performed to remove the gangrenous gall bladder remnants, stones, and inspect and clean up the rest of the mess. And yes, I had mild hallucinatory events and a paranoid episode for a little while after the surgery. so what? It was unpleasant, but a heck of a lot better than gangrene in my guts, and the pain, that everlasting agony, was gone.

And of course I was glad to go home, isn’t everyone?”

Ha, the real story is the doctors induced your pain, fooling you into permitting surgery, which is when they implanted the microchips. You may think you’re endorsing mainstream medicine of your own volition…;)

Ask yourself: How does an activist journalist suddenly become a doctorate-level researcher and scientist engaged in breakthrough food science discoveries?

Obviously a morphogenetic field effect. As the number of doctorate-level researchers and scientists increases, it becomes progressively easier to engage in breakthrough food science discoveries. I can only hope that Sheldrake will receive due credit.

Adams is the proverbial and apocryphal 100th Monkey.

@ herr doktor bimler:

Unfortunately, I erred earlier today by deciding to listen to an interview with Sheldrake where he ‘splained his 10 characteristics of scientism for a FULL 30 minutes. Sceptics were mentioned in great detail- including our esteemed host and many other friends.

I’m not sure what was worse- that experience or the vegetarian meal I consumed yesterday in order to not appear a picky dinner guest.

Both contained a surplus of leafiness and decoration and little solidity.

MESSAGE BEGINS ——————————

Okay esses and emms, Cindy F. here, and a big ol’ TL;DR warning, this is the long story on the big dealie-o message y’all just got from Lord D. Old Dragonpants has been called back to Glaxxon Prime for a “debriefing” ’cause he totally screwed the pooch, and that’s why he and the bugs and the royals are all so freaked. About a month ago, a certain lizard left his multi-spondor lying around on C-deck near the hatchling creche. Of course, one of the little shits got hold of it, crank called Buckingham Palace, vaporized the cat, fried dear old Dad’s favorite vaporator and charred a first edition of some Italian guy’s poetry, Danty, or Denny or something. Anyways, next day, Mamacita comes home from terrorizing the outer colonies and just wants to relax with a Martini and quick huff. Ruh roh. Where the vaporator at? Little shits are questioned. Servants are questioned. Yours truly is questioned. Security vid is reviewed and it’s Dad and Jr. Nº. 234 endin’ up in the casa de dog-o.

But, the big ‘zard is never one to cry in his S’vaak, so he just knocks back a few Laphrohaigs (I’m talkin’ full 750s, kids) yells at a few Minions for good measure, and decides to go for a joyride in Obsidian Unit 6 with Jr. 234. Seems he wanted to show him how a real lizard takes control of a sitch and decided they were gonna sneak up on ol’ Mikey while the guy’s asleep. Only problemo is that a certain someone doesn’t hold his secret sauce too well. This meant scratching the docking clamps, wrecking a perfectly good satellite, then plunging out of orbit like a meteor, narrowly missing the capitol dome, scorching the roof of the Driskill Hotel and scaring the bejeebers out of one Mrs. Melva Lomax of 266 McItyre Circle, who, at the age of 63 and recently divorced, was living out a lifelong fantasy of running naked through her sprinklers under a full moon, when a certain overlord finally brought his, glowing, white-hot ride to a halt, uncloaked, over her lawn.

Anyways, he recloaked and finally found his way to Mikey’s, well, at least the cyberpilot did and so, one hammered Gila monster and his up-way-past-its-bedtime sidekick went out to bag themselves a baddie. Does it get worse? Oh, yes it does. Captain Genius gave his young ‘un a fully charged thranzor. Imagine giving your sister’s stoopid, candy-sticky 2 year-old an Uzi . . . and a tazer . . . and a real sharp katana all controlled by a petaflop, gel-brain, defender unit with a real bad attitude. That’s how much worse. So, they made it down to Earth and were doing pretty well, lurching through Mikey’s moonlit, permaculture wonderland, the defender unit in Jr.’s thranzor silently disabling Mikey’s pitiful security system and picking off the occasional mosquito and feral cat. They crept, okay, they barreled up to the house, aaaaaand . . . nobody’s home.

Well, what do you think a powerful overlord of the Glaxxon Corpus and his heir do when faced with disappointment? They totally trashed the place, because . . . Mike Adams. Three fun-filled hours later, with his sidekick too tired to stand, His Worshipfulness carried his tuckered tyke, half a bottle of Patrón and a stuffed, guitar-playing iguana back to the waiting Obsidian Unit to head home, empty-clawed. Picture it Shills and Minions: the alien craft pulses into orbit, while the camera pans slowly down onto the Adams casa below. As the sun rises, we move slowly through the golden-hued, totally effed-up rooms. Furniture is shredded, walls are tagged with obscene Glaxxon graffiti, and in the kitchen we see the contents of the fridge and bar have been chucked everywhere. And in the middle of this mess? Yup, it’s Jr.s fully charged, unlocked, thranzor, it’s defender unit wondering where the hell everyone went and silently waiting for a new master to pick it up.

This was a couple of months ago. Now you know the 411. It’s totally like Skynet with organic food. So, DW, do what you gotta do babe, but do it soon, or there won’t be any more fancy parties for anyone.

Sub-Avaach Cindy Flinders, MX9sr23
Order of Clopidogra XXIII, Class VII Weapon Master, PharmaCOM Skyrim Queen

Glaxxon PharmaCOM Orbital
00000000111111101010101011

———————————–MESSAGE ENDS

Dearest Cindy,

We have nothing to worry about:

1. MIkey is a freedomite who considers the police and governments agents of fascism with the media in their employ – who’she gonna report this to? Us?
Imagine Mike’s next article:’ Aliens trashed my hacienda because I threaten the Pharma Industrial Complex.’
It ‘ll hardly stand out amongst the other nonsense he writes.

2 Lord Draconis can bs his way out of any interrogation on any world. But as insurance, I’ll talk to Uncle Rupert- that’ll fix any conceivacble problem with the higherups.

We will party on excellently as per usual.

Yours, DW

“I’ve always felt that “activism” and “journalism” are not compatible, but that’s just one reporter’s opinion, I guess.”

I’ve come to the conclusion that “Mike Adams” and “journalism” are not compatible.

Journalist…seriously? Who is he trying to kid?

“Results” can be elusive. Isn’t this a little like putting the cart before the horse? Announce a date for spectacular results without announcing any results? How does HE know they will be spectacular, unless he knows what they are, in which case why not just accounce the results and let everyone else be the judge of whether or not they are spectacular?

I don’t know whether to feel sad or disgusted that enough people seem to be so poorly schooled in how science works that they would fall for this kind of absurdist hype. I have to lean towards disgust. This is the kind of thing that poisons the well for all the honest people who are actually making a sincere effort to advance knowledge.

I see today that our brilliant members of the house of representatives are proposing to make rules for the NSF that require any funding they do to be justified by some statement of expected results. Putting aside that something akin to that is already a part of the requirements for applying for NSF grants… what it actually is saying is that we won’t fund any ‘science’ unless it will produce the results we want.

Fifty years ago, when I was young and optimistic and had no knowledge of the larger world it never once occurred to me that at this age I would witness such decay and recidivism.

I have come to realize some people fear science. To some small degree every good scientist does as well, it is uncompromising. Despite diligent and persistent effort you may well be more likely to be wrong about something than correct. And you become a critic, looking for the wrong. Not just just in your own work but everyone elses as well.

Stark choices for both individuals and civilizations. Nothing easy or simple about them other than the one seemingly unvarying baseline or background that science works. Wishful thinking, magical thinking, superstition, profound faith, drug induced hallucinations, whatever you want to call it, generaly doesn’t ‘work’.

Perhaps it is because we live in a statistical environment. That is why people give up good money to things like lotteries, numbers games and betting in general on anything with a degree of randomness to it. But all that shows is that people simply don’t understand probability at all.

Congress is proposing to turn funding of research into a kind of dancing with dogs contest. And there wil be lots of dog breeders betting on the outcomes.

I laugh so hard it brings tears to my eyes.

Ask yourself: How does an activist journalist suddenly become a doctorate-level researcher and scientist engaged in breakthrough food science discoveries?

Identity theft?

I am a simple liar… I mean lawyer, so I don’t know much about science, feel free to crrect me then if below chain of logic is somehow wrong.

Mike is still working on his great breakthrough. As far as I have heard, scientific work that is still in progress has the nasty property of the uncertainty. Jury is still out, results are not in, but the announcment is for Jan. 7th to reveal the incredible.

Were it me, working on some incredible project, I’d wait with announcing success till after, you know, success. But Mike already told us to wait for his magnum opus. Doesn’t that kind of invalidate any potential (stay with me, I know it is Mike Adams we’re talking about, just doing a thought experiment here, if you will) merit of the research if the author pretty much announces the inevitable success? My short periods of perusing this blog taught me, that if you look for positive answer long enough you can create it even if there is non in the data…

Sorry if that came little incomprehensible, can’t really think of way to word it better…

The answer to your thinking is of course that Mike knows the answer (sort of). The ‘science’ investigation is to come up with those answers or something that looks close enough to be shoehorned in. Mike will keep looking down his microscope until he finds what he wants or makes it up – blood vessels that could be Morgellons or some other rubbish.

History is littered with examples of people who have become convinced they are seeing patterns and/or meaningful responses in noise. It seems very likely that Mikey has fallen prey to the same cognitive glitches – I think he has found a noise generator of some kind and is seeing patterns in its output.

If pushed, I would put my money on Mikey’s ground-breaking discovery being somehow related to either ideomotor signals or galvanic skin responses*. These are all, of course, ways in which we can communicate with our higher self, which knows All, including which foods are good or bad for us and which supplements we require. It’s a tragedy that someone forgot to wire such useful abilities up to the conscious mind, so we would have this useful knowledge all the time.

* See dowsing, applied kinesiology, Hulda Clark’s synchronometer, radionics, and a multitude of diagnostic gadgets.

Mikey appears to have taken enough time off from his gruelling paradigm-shifting schedule in order to write up ad copy for products he shills like nascent idoine and an ozonated, peppermint dentifrice.

I doubt he has a PCR machine. My first guess was better microscope (but someone already guessed that). So second guess is that he’s obtained an old paper chromatography set and has been using it under poorly ventilated conditions (hence the somewhat dizzying announcement).

@ Dan J. Andrews:

Mike acquired a polarographic analyser by perusing websites selling surplus from universities’ labs. I wonder what else he got?

#78. Come on man!! Why should he hedge on his claims? Hubris is a dish best served steaming!!

He mean about Comet ISON …….which our Earth will be fly, by the trajectory of ISON(((( 07.01.2014)))) ….As I know ISON has cyjanowodor in itself & 3 days will die 30% of population our glob.
All world will change
sorry for my english

I don’t buy everything Adams says but his overall philosophy of non-GMO, organic food is certainly healthy. He dislikes fast food due to the fact that it is extremely unhealthy and not really food. Maybe he’s a bit kooky at times but certainly no worse then doctors pushing expensive and dangerous prescription medication for every possible ailment. I believe many diseases we suffer from today are due to poor diet and limited exercise. But the medical community doesn’t understand diet and nutrition, they continue to push the high fiber, low fat BS along with statin drugs, bypass surgery, and anything else that makes big bucks.

Gotta love the new normal in medicine, nothing is cured anymore, we just treat people with endless prescription medication until death or bankruptcy, whichever comes first.

Rob Smith – I think most in medicine would agree that diet and physical activity can have a major impact on many diseases including type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and so on.

Why do you say that doctors don’t understand diet and nutrition? Why do you think Mike Adams knows more than they do?. And finally, why is a high fiber, low fat diet BS?

Thanks.

Rob Smith– We have never been able to cure diabetes: why do you think it would be better for people to die from it quickly than to have it be a treatable disease, so people with diabetes can live, with good quality of life, for decades? We can’t yet cure HIV, but surely “you can live for a long time if you take these drugs” is better than “we’re calling the hospice, and be sure to make a will and see the people you love in the next few weeks.”

@Rob – there is plenty of stuff that we can cure nowadays…what we are also finding is that the chronic illnesses that come to the forefront (because people are living longer, etc) are a heck of a lot harder to cure / deal with….

Rob Smith,

I don’t buy everything Adams says but his overall philosophy of non-GMO, organic food is certainly healthy.

I disagree. I can’t find any good scientific evidence to support the idea that either GM foods or non-organic foods are worse for our health than non-GM or organic foods. In some cases GM foods that are engineered to contain more nutrients (golden rice for example) are undoubtedly healthier than the GM varieties.

He dislikes fast food due to the fact that it is extremely unhealthy and not really food.

That surely depends on which ‘fast food’ you look at, and how much of it is eaten. Some fast food is deep-fried or has a high calorific value for other reasons. Other ‘fast food’ is quite nutritious. I’m intrigued, what ‘fast food’ do you think is not really food. What else is it?

I believe many diseases we suffer from today are due to poor diet and limited exercise.

I agree, though it seems we disagree about what constitutes a ‘poor diet’. Diseases like diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, and to some extent joint diseases and some cancers, are caused or exacerbated by consuming too many calories especially high glycemic index food, too little fiber, too little fruit and vegetables, too much fat especially saturated fats.

But the medical community doesn’t understand diet and nutrition, they continue to push the high fiber, low fat BS

The medical community promotes diets that are supported by scientific evidence. I suspect you have been misled by those who would sell you some fad diet, claiming it has miraculous qualities.

along with statin drugs,

Which are undoubtedly very effective, have now been shown to save lives even in those without cardiovascular disease and are remarkably safe. The latest Cochrane review concludes:

Reductions in all-cause mortality, major vascular events and revascularisations were found with no excess of adverse events among people without evidence of CVD treated with statins.

bypass surgery,

Assuming you mean coronary artery bypass surgery, there is no doubt that this saves thousands of lives in patients having a heart attack. In stable angina patients, I agree its value is debatable and diet and lifestyle changes may be just as effective.

and anything else that makes big bucks.

>
I am in the UK where doctors, and hospitals, get paid the same whatever treatment they give their patients. They have every motivation to use the most cost-effective treatments available, yet the treatments used are very similar to those used in the US. That is just one reason I don’t buy this picture of all or even most US doctors prescribing lucrative unnecessary treatments. It happens, of course, there was a case discussed here recently, but as a matter of routine as you imply? I very much doubt it.

Gotta love the new normal in medicine, nothing is cured anymore, we just treat people with endless prescription medication until death or bankruptcy, whichever comes first.

Based on my understanding of medical history, the old normal in medicine was to die in childhood, or to live to your 40s if you were very lucky. Now that infectious diseases are no longer the menace they used to be, more of us are living into old age, and suffering degenerative diseases as a result. If you eat a healthy diet and live a healthy lifestyle your chances of some* degenerative diseases is reduced, but not by any means eliminated. The Golden Age you imply never existed.

* I have developed osteoarthritis in one of my shoulders, probably as a result of damaging it while swimming, which I did daily in my 20s. Vigorous exercise can have consequences in later life – youngsters take care!

Mike Adams will write anything that will spur people on to read his websites and buy his products:

-higher page views equal more money from advertisement
-more purchases equal more money from sales

He’s created a hundred different schemes to get customers’ money over the past 6 or 7 years that I’ve been aware of him, including:
e-books, pay web tv/ radio shows/ films/ seminars, an inner circle( pay), real estate in Ecuador, Nature travel in Ecuador, supplements, home products, kitchen products,organic foods delivered/ mailorder, soap/ hair products, encyclopaedias, spiritual studies, survivalist tutorials/ products, music videos, news etc.

Most of his articles serve to frighten people away from standard food and health products as well as SBM, the media and most scientiific endeavors/ education. His alt media would replace most informational sources which are OBVIOUSLY tainted by their connection with corporate interests, governmental supervision or the Devil himself.

Like most cults, he, and the other loon I survey, would have you avoid information that doesn’t issue from their own hallowed fonts of wisdom
AND that also serves their own business interests.
Mike, who constantly raves about China, has corporate interests in Taiwan ( mentioned on the Alex Jones Show).
He always talks about others’ COIs but never mentions that everything he writes serves his own interests.

Oo! Oo! (apologies to Gunther Toody). Mike Adams, the Health Deranger has released the very first photo from his NN “Forensic Food Laboratory”.

I got all excited when I saw the link. Would it be a FISH analysis of connective tissue in Chicken McNuggets? An electron micrograph of skin scrapings from a Morgellons patient showing a minute beady-eyed extraterrestrial?

Nope. Sorry to say, it’s just a photo of Mikey sitting in what looks like a lab:

http://www.naturalnews.com/043112_Health_Ranger_food_science_research_atomic_spectroscopy.html

What a downer.

Mike does tell us he has a centrifuge capable of “10,000G” (to be picky, he means 10,000xG). This impresses the hell out of Mike, but I think that’s characteristic of a pretty standard lab centrifuge, not anything cutting edge.

Mike also confesses he sometimes does research in a short-sleeved shirt and not a lab coat, which he knows is unwise (especially if he’s experimenting on GM foods, which could spray DNA all over him and turn him into a newt).

Even though the photo release is a letdown, remember that Mike is going to turn the scientific world on its ear January 7, 2014 when he completes his metamorphosis from crank woo-shouter to crank-shouting woo pseudoscientist.

I can’t wait!!!

I’ve got to admit, I’m already stocking up on popcorn for 1/7/14.

What… shiny equipment… he has…

Mikey tells us that his work will lead to greater health, freedom from chronic illness and better cognitive functioning…
srsly…
if it were true, his readers would then laugh uproariously at him and migrate to SBM, RI et al.
Better cognitive functioning in your audience is not something to wish for, Mikey.

-btw- amongst his comments, a Mr Bob Blaskiewicz delivers.

AND as i noted elsewhere, Mike comments( @ side ,news) about Seralini being retracted.

I can’t believe I just spent the last 30 mins looking at this site. I am truly more stupid for reading and have 30 mins of my life I can’t get back. So I will waste another 30 seconds to let you know what idiots most of you are. Most sites I check out aren’t worthy of a comment but you guys really “take the cake” You will never see me on here again.

I can’t believe I just spent the last 30 mins looking at this site. I am truly more stupid for reading

Do you spend much of your time visiting other web sites? I’m just asking because there may be a pattern here.

Well folks, it’s finally happened…and the answer is…Doritos!

No seriously. It’s closeup photos of Doritos, and analysis of Doritos for ‘heavy metal toxins,’ which of course you have to subscribe to see!

Who would’ve thought the “groundbreaking original scientific research” turned out to be his Nacho Cheesiest claim yet. Personally, I was hoping for something a bit more Cooler Ranch.

Well, the suspense is over. The first part of Mikey’s long-promised announcement has been posted. It’s an analysis of the “heavy metal content” of common off-the-shelf food products.

Results are available now at:
http://Labs.NaturalNewsDOTcom

Total transparency for foods, superfoods, organics and supplements
Mike Adams, the executive director of the Consumer Wellness Center, oversees laboratory operations. “This food science project is about providing transparency to consumers so they can make informed decisions about what foods they wish to consume or avoid,” Adams explains. “Many people also have health conditions which are worsened by toxic heavy metals, and given that these elements can stay in the body for decades, consumers are empowered by knowing which foods are safer for them to consume.”

Adams has also released a video explaining the announcement:

Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/043422_heavy_metals_lab_tests_organic_foods.html#ixzz2pgZtFCIa

Oh, it gets even better. Check out the disclaimers on his new hilarious ‘labs’ page:

JOURNALISTS AND BLOGGERS: You are granted permission to quote this data in the context of a story, provided you credit the researcher (Mike Adams, the Health Ranger) and provide a clickable link to the appropriate page on labs.naturalnews.com. For print publications, you may simply print the appropriate URL. YOU MAY NOT REPRODUCE THIS DATA IS ITS ENTIRETY OR REPUBLISH A LARGE DATA SET. This data is protected under copyright law. Please contact us if you wish to seek permission to use a large data set

You know it’s real science when the data is protected under copyright law!

Cool Ranch Doritos were launched in 1986, at the onset of the claimed epidemic of autism. As the apparent prevalence of ASD skyrocketed, so did the revenue from Doritos: a billion dollars in 1993, on the way to becoming a four billion dollar product. Anne Dachel should be all over this.

His ‘ground-breaking’ research is the calculation of a heavy metal retention factor, by testing how much heavy metal is released from a sample after acid digestion and comparing that to the amount that is released from a sample after acid digestion.

Which would explain why most of the values are 0.

Nacho Cheese Flavored Doritos…cold, dead hands… Well, you know the drill.

Most hilariously, he wants to frighten people about radiation from Fukushima which is EXACTLY what the other idiot is doing ( @ PRN.fm).
FEAR the wakame! It got Cesium ((shudder)).

Both of these creatures push chlorophyll products which can “chelate” metals
BUT supposingly that your chlorella/ spirulina/ green powdered glop come from China- which is close to Japan-
“Toss it and buy mine!”
“Look at those contaminated chips/ crisps!” they say, and then without taking a breath, they continue “WE sell only the purest snack foods!” ‘ Freeze-dried GMO-free organic spinach-beet-artichoke sticks and de-hydrated kale.YUM”

If you go over to the site to see results, you will view out-of-focus charts which will clear up only IF you submit your e-mail address to Mike.

Believe-it-or-not, Mike is one of the ‘innovators* of e-mail advert-bombing so giving him your address is inviting a barrage of e-mail selling his myriad products and vanity projects until the end of time

brian:

Cool Ranch Doritos were launched in 1986, at the onset of the claimed epidemic of autism.

Cool Ranch Doritos are the second greatest thing in the history of everything. The greatest thing is Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos.

I have an email address specifically for using in these circumstances. I think I open the account once every 8 – 10 months to stop namelessfreemail from deactivating it, but that’s all….

Radioactive Cesium-137 is the most prominent and dangerous element found in foods in the aftermath of nuclear catastrophes or nuclear weapons. Cesium-137 has a half-life of 30 years, and it persists in soils for 200 – 300 years. Cesium-137 mimics potassium in plant and human biology, so it goes everywhere that potassium goes (i.e. every single cell of your body).

Directly testing foods for radioactive Cesium-137 is extremely difficult with atomic spectroscopy because Cesium-137 has the same atomic mass as Barium. Thus, atomic spectroscopy instrumentation is unable to distinguish between the two. However, Adams has combined atomic spectroscopy analysis with laboratory-grade benchtop timed radiation decay meters to arrive at a highly accurate methodology which can determine both a food’s current level of radioactivity as well as that food’s natural affinity for absorbing the Cesium element. These two numbers detail the “radioactivity profile” of a particular food substance.

Can someone here with lab experience tell us if this is all drivel?

Natural News is now testing fish products harvested from the Pacific Ocean for their radioactivity and Cesium affinity profiles. Results will be published and made freely available at Labs.NaturalNews.com

In addition, Adams is also searching through hundreds of botanicals and dietary substances to identify substances which have strong ionic affinity for Cesium atoms. This research is well underway, and results will be published on Natural News.

“We have already documented the fact that Hawaiian Spirulina has an extremely high natural affinity for Uranium, capturing over 89% of the free Uranium in our digestion simulation tests. The Metals Capturing Capacity of Hawaiian Spirulina for Uranium-238 is 15.2, meaning each gram of Hawaiian Spirulina binds with 15.2 micrograms of Uranium.”

Spirulina’s affinity for Cesium, however, was much lower, clocking in at an MCC of only 2.6. “We are confident we can identify other dietary substances with higher affinity for Cesium, but the search is tedious and expensive,” Adams explained.

To stay up to date on the search for Cesium-binding substances, stay tuned to Natural News and the Natural News Forensic Food Lab.

Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/043409_Fukushima_Cesium-137_radiation.html#ixzz2pjfITSTy

You wanna bet once Mikey “identifies” those botanicals and dietary substances they’ll be made available for sale on his website?

In fact that seems to be the entire goal of this new laboratory. Disseminate fear, suspicion and paranoia, disparage the products on supermarket shelves and then offer up either a healthy alternative at high cost or some “Health Ranger approved” supplement to counteract or neutralize the effects of the “toxins” contained in the products.

@ Woo Fighter:

Most of what Mike says is drivel/ tripe: even if he says something that is realistic, he immediately associates it to something nonsensical thus turning it into either a drivel or a tripe support mechanism.

-btw- I watched most of the 37 minute long video that accompanies his announcement and –
Great holy Frigg in heaven!
He wants to scare people about whatever they eat and drink as well as supplements/superfoods that they take because governmental agencies do NOTHING to monitor levels of toxic heavy metals but HE does.

If making money is important to Mike (and we know it is), his next step should be offering to publish a list of foods and supplements that meet the crack NN lab’s standards for heavy metals. All the manufacturers/dealers would have to do is pay for the testing (a quite nominal fee, I’d expect) and they could be certified as NN Metal-Safe.

Get on it, Mikey! We’re counting on you.

But…but…but…I thought the government agencies were all corrupt and in the pocket of Big Pharma?

Why would Mikey even trust them if they DID monitor such levels? Wouldn’t any government findings be faked/inaccurate so as not to dent their bottom line of Big Pharma?

Interestingly, his crack legal team** has already advised that when Mikey names the tainted products, he’ll be doing it in the ‘public interest’ or suchlike so that he can’t be sued by the dastardly,unnatural, money-hungry corporations that produce them.
Which are totally unlike his kind,organic,altruistic money-hungry corporations.

** or is it his legal team on crack?

@ Woo Fighter — As with most of Mikey’s ramblings, there’s no “there” there. Try these sites (de-linked to avoid moderation):

State of Alaska, Division of Environmental Health, Food Safety and Sanitation Program, Fukushima Radiation – Little Impact on Alaska Seafood: dec.alaska.gov/eh/fss/Food/radiation_news.html

Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute, on Fukushima radiation risks. (great discussion of cesium in the Pacific): http://www.whoi.edu/page.do?pid=83397&tid=3622&cid=94989

Deep Sea News: “True Facts About Ocean Radiation and the Fukushima Disaster” – also links to an article explaining that Fukushima is not the cause of Starfish Wasting Syndrome: deepseanews.com/2013/11/true-facts-about-ocean-radiation-and-the-fukushima-disaster/

And a direct takedown of Natural News drivel: boingboing.net/2014/01/06/no-fukushima-is-not-killing-o.html

🙂

@ Vicki:

Right- but don’t you think that Mike’s own particular style of stupidiy should come with a ™?

If I understand Mikey’s figures correctly, I should stick to Doritos and Coke, and avoid dried kelp granules (I already do, so that’s OK). That would be if I trusted any of the figures he comes up with of course, which I don’t.

Recently, Mike has been frightening people about:
– contaminated foods/ organic produce/
supplements from China
– radiation from Fukushima, esp in fish, sea products
– that the goverment hides this

The other idiot teaches that MOST products ( foods, supplements, meds) are dangerous. The government/ media hide this because they’re paid off.

Both of them instruct their audiences about the poisons and difficulties that surround them: many broadcasts and articles spell this out in detail. Repetitiously.

They also teach that stress is “a killer” yet that’s what they continuously ramp up. I propose that woo-meisters cause stress and worry- which in of themselves destroy quality of life. People who trust them and listen to/ read them regularly are harming themselves and living in fear based on spurious information that is *ad copy*.
Woo can’t be good for blood pressure.

It wasn’t spice in the mcnuggets unless spice looks like threadlike dead worm which seems unlikely. He was pointing out that he didn’t know what it was …. Mcdonalds declined to comment which is interesting if it could be easily….. That and there appeared to be no chicken in the chicken mcnuggets… Why don’t you do shits open your eyes to what mike Adams is opening the door took which is questioning highly dangerous food practices that are not contributing but causing all health problems in the country and the world … Honestly science is supposed to be about open mindedness and scrutiny of things we have already been taught to be true … All you are doing is clinging to the dogma of your brand of already established science an institution that is more slow to change long held ideas then the catholic church

We have already documented the fact that Hawaiian Spirulina has an extremely high natural affinity for Uranium

I’m going to protect my health be avoiding Hawaiian Spirulina. Whatever that is.

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