Beware genetically engineered T4 bacteriophage nanobots!

Every so often I come across something in the world of woo that catches my attention because it’s so completely batshit loony that it demands my attention, either for the sheer delusion on display or for the extreme cleverness with which the pseudoscience and conspiracy theories are woven together. No, this time, I’m not talking about the Food Babe, either, because there’s no cleverness at all there, other than cleverness at self-promotion and quackmailing food and beverage manufacturers for fun and, most of all, profit. All that’s there besides that is an incredible ignorance of science and basic chemistry. There’s a reason why the Food Babe, a.k.a. Vani Hari, is rapidly making a name for herself (not in a good way) to rival Mike Adams for sheer pseudoscience. My not-so-secret hope is that one day, Mike Adams and the Food Babe will go after each other, the way Mike Adams has gone after his competitors by doing mass spectroscopy on their supplements and trumpeting the results that show elevated levels of heavy metal and the Food Babe quackmails food companies. It’s coming, I bet, and it’ll be a quack fight to cherish.

In the meantime, did you know that this latest Ebola outbreak in Africa is likely a hoax to trick you into getting a viral nanobot-laced vaccine that will destroy you? You didn’t? Well let’s take a look, pardner, because I’m in one of those perverse moods that makes me want to take a look at an article that claims Ebola is just a plot to get us all to inject ourselves with nanobots. I realize that Ebola is serious business, but unfortunately serious business often brings out serious quackery and conspiracy theories, and I have a week spot deep in my Tarial-cell fueled heart (or whatever passes for a heart in an awesome computer). Besides, even though I’ve toned things down over the last few years (if you don’t believe this, go back and read some of my posts from c.2006 or so), I do occasionally need to have a little fun, and this is fun:

A NOTE TO THE SHILLS: What will happen if you end up with these things inside you? These are NOT Iphones, WANNA SHILL THIS? ARE YOU SURE YOUR ISRAELI LAB GOT THIS RIGHT AND THESE WILL NEVER GET INTO YOU?

With only 183K of super efficient DNA code, viral nanobots were released into the wild via vaccinations on September 22 2007 and are being peddled as a natural variant of the T4 bacteriophage. But this report PROVES THESE NANOBOT PHAGES ARE NOT NATURAL, AND WERE INSTEAD CREATED BY ISRAEL.

That’s right, WHAT’CHA GONNA DO WHEN THOSE VIRAL NANOBOTS RUN WILD OVER YOU?

For those of you who might be budding skeptical bloggers or writers out there, it’s a good rule of thumb that any post you encounter that starts with a “note to the shills” is likely to be chock full of grade-A pure conspiracy mongering. Either that, or it’s a parody or a Poe. Thus endeth the lesson. Well, not quite. Another lesson is that it’s always the Jews. Always. Except, maybe, when it’s the Arabs or the Chinese. But usually it’s the Jews. In any case, this post references posts by someone named Jim Stone, who bills himself as a “freelance journalist.” My guess is that he’s most likely a freelance writer because the content he produces is too unbelievable even for Alex Jones-affiliated websites, but that’s just my speculation.

I do, however, love the precision of this conspiracy. Stone knows—knows in his very bones—that these viral “nanobots” were released into the wild on September 22, 2007. Not September 21. Not September 23. September 22. He also points to antivaccine websites being taken down right now as proof of his conspiracy, specifically Megan’s website, which, as anyone who knows anything about the incident knows, was almost certainly do to a hilarious a misunderstanding. Of course, that’s what THEY want you to believe.

In any case, Stone also doesn’t know why T4 bacteriophages couldn’t be “viral nanobots” that affect humans. Here’s a hint: It’s because they’re frikkin’ bacteriophages! They’re viruses whose function is to infect bacteria. Basically, the T4 phage infects a hapless bacteria, hijacks the bacteria’s protein-making and DNA replication machineries, and then bursts forth with lots of new virus particles, destroying the cell that was infected. All of this means that the phage can’t “invade host organisms or cells and insert DNA that causes the host make more nanobots until the host organisms or cells die from overexertion producing them” if those host organisms are not bacteria. There’s a reason they were named bacteriophages, after all, and not just viruses.

Now get a load of the “proof”:

Something called a T-4 bacteriophage existed before, but it certainly did not look like this.

I knew the six legged T4 bacteriophage was NOT NATURAL and that Israel did it and I found a way to PROVE IT. Click the image to the left to see how I proved it, this is NOT a hoax. Google yields NO image results for T4 bacteriphage before September 1 of 2007, and TONS for September 1 of 2008. So that is the time frame this little six pointed demon was released into the wild. And if Google is subsequently rigged to screw with this, I already have it documented, this is REAL FOLKS.

If you want the full effect of this “proof,” you’ll have to check out the actual images:

I can’t argue with logic like that, can you? Well, actually, I can. I remember seeing electron micrographs of T4 phages that had six legs back in the 1990s, when I was a graduate student actually growing up T4 phages to screen phage libraries. (Those of you in biomedical science will probably not be familiar with that technique unless you’ve been around a while. These days, it’s a very quaint technique.) For instance, this 2006 paper shows an illustration of the six-legged structure, and so does this 2003 paper, but obviously these could be faked, right? Indeed, our intrepid conspiracy theorist is insisting on only printed images from journals before 2007 to demonstrate that this six-legged structure was demonstrated a long time ago. Who knows, I might still have one of those old textbooks, but I’m not about to go searching to see if I do just to answer such a ridiculous charge.

On the other hand, I can laugh:

To provide a background on this, I have a really close friend who is a doctorate of pharmacology and an expert in the related microbiology fields. While having lengthy discussions about the future of weaponized medicine, this friend went on and on about how bacteriophages were being re engineered to attack our brain cells rather than their normal host – bacteria, implant DNA directly into our cells to change us immediately and forever change future generations by delivering a DNA payload to the egg cells in the ovaries and also to the male reproductive system. This would have a permanent impact on the future of mankind. Once this type of phage was received via a vaccination, those vaccinated would have the vaccine induced traits passed along via DNA insertion by the phage to all future generations.

Though phages (which are viruses that attack bacteria,) of various types have been around virtually forever, they have thus far been harmless to anything other than bacteria, and are even highly selective in the exact type and species of bacteria they will attack.

While it’s true that bacteriophages can demonstrate exquisite specificity for bacterial species and even strains of bacterial species, it would nonetheless be an amazing feat to change a T4 phage into a virus that can specifically infect specific types of neurons, particularly given that the genetic “package” delivered is all bacterial genes. Of course, one could imagine scientists replacing that genetic “package,” but why not just use an already existing human virus? Of course, there’s an answer for that:

When discussing this topic, I raised the question WHY were they modifying phages instead of common viruses that have a history of attacking people. One answer is in the fact that phages, more so than ordinary viruses which can cross the species divide, are highly selective in their targets and are programmed to only attack precisely what they were designed to – a bacteriophage will prefer only one variant of a particular type of bacteria. For example, there are many different types of salmonella bacteria, and among salmonella bacteria, a particular phage will attack only one variant while leaving other variants of salmonella alone. In the brain, not all neurons are identical, but all are similar so when administered via an intentionally tainted vaccine, the high selectivity of a modified bacteriophage can be used to target precisely the type of neuron a sabotaged vaccine would be intended to wipe out.

This is just silly. The T4 phage enters E. coli by its tail proteins (legs) binding to OmpC porin proteins and Lipopolysaccharide (LPS). LPS is the molecule that’s responsible for some of the biological effects of infection with gram negative bacteria. Specifically, it’s an endotoxin. It acts as an immunomodulator and contributes to the symptoms of sepsis. One also notes that humans don’t have OmpC. So the whole tail assembly would have to be reengineered to bind to specific human proteins and to contain genetic material that could replicate in humans. Remember, bacteria have a very different machinery for protein synthesis and DNA replication than eucaryotic cells. (Humans are eucaryotes.)

If I were an evil Reptilian overlord, I’d dismiss such a hair-brained scheme as a long run for a short slide. Given that vaccines don’t even contain bacteriophages, I’d tell my minion that it just doesn’t make any sense, even by my nefariously evil standards. But, then, what do I know? I’m not Alex Jones:

I will tip my hat to him. He’s still the master. Even Mike Adams doesn’t come close.