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Adult vaccine pledge. (Translation: “Wake up, sheeple!”)

Orac recently came across an antivaccine post called “The Adult Vaccine Pledge.” So he deconstructed it. It did not go well—for the Adult Vaccine Pledge.

Having been at this whole blogging thing nearly 14 years, sometimes I think that there’s nothing that I haven’t seen before. In broad strokes, that might be true. For instance, it’s rare for any quack or antivaccine claim to be truly new under the sun; the vast majority of times “new claims” just seem new because they’re a clever repackaging of misinformation, tropes, and pseudoscience that I’ve seen so many times before. Usually, it doesn’t take me long to figure that out, which is why sometimes I hit a bit of writers’ block lately when blogging. I see things online or elsewhere and realize that it’s almost certain that I’ve discussed the same bit of nonsense before, sometimes many times. That’s probably why my frequency of blog posts has dropped off over the years from a manic pace of at least one a day (including weekends), if not more, to a more reasonable 3-5 posts per week, these days usually three or four new ones. Still, I’m dedicated to what I do, and I enjoy it; so even ennui at addressing the same claims over and over again doesn’t usually stop me for long, which brings me to something I saw recently popping up on social media: The Adult Vaccine Pledge (also seen on the Facebook page of Health Freedom Idaho, because of course it is).

I found it odd that I hadn’t seen this before, although I swear this “Adult Vaccine Pledge” looks pretty similar to things I’ve seen before. On the other hand, I couldn’t find anything quite like it in the history of my blog dating back to 2005; so that alone makes it a worthy target topic for discussion. The reason, of course, is that it’s a nice one-stop-shop for common antivaccine tropes all stitched together with the not-so-subtle implication that those of us who accept that vaccines are safe and effective are sheeple who mindlessly pledge to the CDC (of all places), safety of our children be damned. It’s also damned hilarious. So let’s dive in. There are twelve parts to the pledge, but don’t worry. Each part of the Adult Vaccine Pledge is such a commonly used bit of antivaccine misinformation, I can liberally link to past posts of mine written about specific antivaccine claims and thus bolster the internal linking structure of this blog while at the same time keeping this post under 10,000 words. (Just kidding. Even Orac has never posted a 10,000 word post. Yet. He has, however, hit over 7,000 on occasion.)

Also, before I move on, I can’t help but also note that the existence of this “Adult Vaccine Pledge,” which is clearly intended to be parody or satire reveals a couple of things about the mindset of antivaxers. First, they aren’t very good at parody and satire, because effective parody and satire require a bit of subtlety and wit. I think that a guy with the ‘nym of Seanbaby put it well in another context when he noted that you “have to have a non-delusional take on reality, or you can’t see when absurd things clash against it.” If you don’t, you’ll struggle to come up with something that is amusing and makes a lightbulb turn on in the mind of anyone but a person who already shares your world view and lead her to think, “Wow, he has a point. I hadn’t thought of it that way before,” regardless of what that “it” is. In other words, without that non-delusional take on reality, all that’s left is to bludgeon your audience, and that’s what this “pledge” does. Of course, I could be wrong, and there might never have been any intent of satire, but you get the idea. This “pledge” is painfully bludgeoning in its sarcasm and certainty.

So, the first line is simple:

I Pledge to Follow the CDC’s Recommended Adult Vaccine Schedule.

OK, I’ll bite. I am following the CDC’s recommended adult vaccine schedule. I get my flu vaccine every year without complaint. I’ve even gone above and beyond in that I recently asked my primary care doctor for the first of the two-shot series of the hepatitis A vaccine because we’re currently in the middle of a massive hepatitis A outbreak in my part of the country. You can be damned sure I’ll also get the booster shot 6-12 months after I got the first one, as recommended. I will admit that I’m missing one adult vaccine considered appropriate for a man my age, and that’s Shingrix (the new shingles vaccine). The reason is that I don’t know if my insurance company covers it and have been meaning to call to find out. So, thanks, anonymous writer of this pledge! You reminded me that I should have done that a while ago! I know what I’ll be doing when I get out of clinic later today.

Onward to #1:

1. I believe that vaccines are Safe and Effective, and I am fully aware that vaccinating can cause: Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Insomnia, Eczema, Allergies, Influenza, Vertigo, Arthritis, Earaches, Anaphylactic Shock, Bronchospasms, Multiple Neurological Issues, Vasculitis, Seizures, Myalgia, Fainting, Encephalitis, Thrombocytopenia, Hair Loss, Meningitis, Measles, Anemia, Agitation, Apathy, Hemorrhaging, Deafness, Tumors, Chickenpox, Tremors, Dermatitis, Alzheimer’s, SIDS, Herpes, Thrush, Pneumonia, Death and Many other Diseases.

My jaw dropped at this one right out of the box. First, I can’t help but note that whoever wrote this silly pledge seems not to understand the difference between adult and childhood vaccines. SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome), for instance, is not a side effect I would have to worry about from any vaccine administered to me. I did notice that the bête noire of antivaxers, autism, is not listed above, and certainly I don’t have to worry about autism from a vaccine either. (Maybe it’s under “multiple neurologic issues.”) And hair loss? Is the writer of this pledge trying to scare middle-aged dudes like myself, given that we all dread hair loss? I’m lucky enough to have come from a family (on my mom’s side) where the men generally kept a full head of hair until they died of diseases associated with old age, although, because my dad’s side of the family has more balding men, I suspect my hair will be considerably thinner 10-20 years from now. Whatever happens, though, I know a vaccine didn’t cause it. In any case, here’s the official CDC list of known side effects associated with individual vaccines. See how few of the scary conditions are on there. Hint: The list doesn’t include multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer’s disease, eczema, etc.

I’ve beat that one to death; so let’s move on:

2. I believe that vaccines are Safe and Effective. However, in the case of injury or death, I am aware that I can not sue the vaccine manufacturer. I believe not being able to sue the manufacturer is Justifiable and that any claim I may have will go before the Vaccine Injury Court which has already awarded $3.7 Billion to vaccine injured individuals.

Yes and no. Here’s a rundown on the real story of the Vaccine Court, as opposed to the antivaccine fantasy version. Also, if you take that $3.7 billion and stretch it out over the 30 years of the existence of the Vaccine Court and then stretch it out over the 5,000 or so claims paid over that time compared to the billions of doses of vaccine given over that time without significant problems, that sum starts to appear a lot less impressive. Also, those who think they or their children were vaccine-injured can still sue in regular court, but only after going through the Vaccine Court.

Next:

3. I believe vaccines Do not cause Autism, despite being listed as an Adverse Reaction on the manufacturers insert. I acknowledge the multiple vaccine induced Autism cases already awarded in court and the thousands of cases in line.

Here we have what I like to refer to as the “argument by the package insert” or “appeal to the package insert.” It’s a ploy that ignores the fact that package inserts are not medical documents, but legal documents. They are, to put it briefly, a “CYA” document. As such, they list every adverse event ever reported in any clinical trial, whether the event is related to the vaccine or not. I also can’t help but note that I’ve never seen a vaccine package insert that actually attributes autism to a vaccine. Also, again, what does autism have to do with vaccines administered to adults? Does the author of this “satire” think that a middle-aged man can become autistic after vaccination?

Next:

4. I believe that the unvaccinated spread disease, even though the vaccine insert admit that vaccines Shed. I am aware that over 90% of people involved in “Outbreaks” are vaccinated.

What is this, the Declaration of Independence or the U.S. Constitution, with the capitalized “S”? Pretentious much? Or maybe just careless with the typos?

In any case, viral shedding after certain vaccinations can happen, but there’s a difference between shedding and causing disease. For one thing, the strains of virus used in live attenuated virus vaccines are just that—attenuated. They’ve been weakened in some way so that they don’t cause the actual disease. Otherwise, a live virus vaccine would be the equivalent of giving the disease to the person vaccinated, which would rather sabotage the whole point of vaccination, which is to produce immunity to the disease without the vaccinated person actually having to suffer through the disease itself. (Scratch that, it would be exactly the same as giving the person the disease.) The question, then, is whether secondary transmission (transmission of the vaccine strain virus to others who haven’t received it) is a major concern. The answer to that question, is no, as these articles entitled Secondary Transmission: The short and sweet about live virus vaccine shedding and Live Vaccines and Vaccine Shedding, Shedding and Vaccines, and Live Vaccines and Vaccine Shedding explain.

As for 90% of people involved in outbreaks being vaccinated, well, that’s just plain not true. For instance, in the Brooklyn measles outbreak of 2013 and the Minnesota measles outbreak of 2016-2017, the vast majority of the measles victims were unvaccinated.

Is it just me, or are these antivax tropes getting dumber as I go along? Let’s find out:

5. I believe that vaccines are so Safe and Effective that injecting Aborted Fetus DNA into my body is totally acceptable. I believe this practice trumps other Americans religious beliefs and our Constitutional right to choice.

Yes, definitely dumber. I’ve written about this trope more times than I can remember, most recently just two weeks ago. Also, the Catholic Church and every other major religion has indeed said that the cell lines used for vaccine manufacture, the ones that were derived from two fetuses over 50 years ago, are acceptable to use because their creation is so distant from their use and the actual cells being used were never part of the aborted fetuses.

Onward into blithering idiocy:

6. I believe vaccines are Safe and Effective, even though their not tested for Cancer, DNA mutation or Infertility.

Here we go again with the random capitalization. Whom do these idiots think they are, the Founding Fathers? At least the Founding Fathers knew the proper use of “their” versus “they’re.” (Hilariously, I note that the Health Freedom Idaho version of this pledge corrected all the random capitalizations and grammar errors.) Of course, vaccines and their ingredients are tested for such things, and, as noted in the Vaccines Work blog, the studies can be found here. As I note, we also know that vaccines are not associated with infertility.

Next, we have one of the most chemically ignorant versions of the “toxins” gambit I’ve ever seen:

7. I believe that injecting: Weed Killer, Formaldehyde, Aluminum, Mercury, Monkey Kidney Cells, Salt, Glucose, Fungus, Acetone, Alcohol, Antibiotics, Disinfectant, Castor oil, E.coli, Guinea Pig Cells, Urine, Pig Protein, Canine Cells, MSG, Germicide, Yeast, Shark Liver oil, Human and Cow Blood, Tar, Methanol, Antacid, Chloroform, Acids, Vitamins and Aborted Fetus DNA into my body is completely safe.

Wait, what? Urine? Where the hell did the writer of this pledge get that one from? That’s a new one on me! Do they mean urea? There are small amounts of urea in some vaccines, where it functions as a stabilizer. Just because urea is in urine doesn’t make it urine. I bet that’s where this ignoramus got the idea that there’s urine in vaccines from. As for the rest, I’ve addresed damned near all of them. I actually laughed reading some of these. Glucose, for instance, is nothing more than sugar, and why is this person worried about salt? No cells are in vaccines, although some viruses used for vaccine manufacture are grown in various cells. Seriously, this might top the most risibly distorted version of the “toxins” gambit I’ve yet seen.

I had to stop at this point, so that I could regain my composure. I was just laughing too hard. OK, I’m ready to go again:

8. I believe we should trust the CDC, an independent company that owns several vaccine patents and has been caught lying and falsifying documents.

The CDC is a government agency, part of the Department of Health and Human Services. It’s not an independent company. I’ve yet to be able to find an example where the CDC has ever been caught lying about vaccines or falsifying documents. I rather suspect the “falsifying documents” bit comes from the fevered conspiracy-addled minds of people like Del Bigtree and Andrew Wakefield, the brain trust behind that antivaccine propaganda “documentary” VAXXED. The whole movie falsely posits a conspiracy in which the CDC tried to cover up findings that vaccines cause autism.

Only four left, thankfully:

9. I believe that vaccines are Safe and Effective, even though the Department of Health and Human Services has been sued (and lost) because they have not filed a Vaccine Safety Study in the last 32 years.

I think I’ll just let Dorit Reiss at Skeptical Raptor take this one. The stupid is burning my neurons, and I’m worried that they’ll start undergoing apoptosis. Let’s just say that the version above of the story and the story itself are related only by coincidence.

There, that felt good to rest a bit. I think I can handle the last three:

10. I believe the 2 hrs. of vaccine training doctors receive in Medical school is sufficient. I believe doctors lie and bully parents into vaccinating because deep down inside they really care. And, I believe that the $40,000 bonus they receive for vaccinating patience is not a factor for them.

I went to medical school. Granted, it was in the late 1980s and there were fewer vaccines (no haemophilus influenzae type B, shingles vaccine, varicella vaccine), and I spent considerably more than two hours learning about vaccines. I can only imagine that today’s medical students spend even more time given that there are more vaccines in routine use today than when I went to medical school. The actual translation of this point is that medical students don’t learn what antivaxers wish they’d be taught, namely misinformation such as concluding that vaccines cause autism and all the other complications ascribed to them by antivaxers.

As for the $40,000 bonus, there’s a germ of truth to that, namely that there is such a thing called pay-for-performance, in which practices receive a small bonus for each patient vaccinated by the CDC guidlines and on time, just as adult practices receive a small bonus for having more than a certain percentage of women over 50 receiving mammograms as recommended. Some insurance companies have such plans for vaccines; some do. I’m not sure where the $40,000 figure came from, but it’s assuredly a fantasy, and from what I hear from pediatricians that I know the pay-for-performance bonuses are not that big a deal. Here’s an example of such a plan. Practices received $100 for each 2-year-old who was fully immunized by the child’s second birthday, and an additional $100 if the immunizations were administered in compliance with HEDIS 2003 specifications for timeliness. To reach $40,000 in a year, that would require 200 two-year olds to be vaccinated on schedule. Also, that money wouldn’t be direct income to the doctors, but rather reimbursement to the practice from which overhead and taxes would be take, just like for any other reimbursement.

Here’s the penultimate pledge:

11. I believe the Government is honest and transparent, and that Media is never manipulating and we can trust in those we can not hold liable.

This one is extremely telling of the conspiracy mindset to which antivaxers subscribe. You might as well translate this one, “WAKE UP SHEEPLE!” (or, from the antivaccine point of view, “I am a sheeple”) and be done with it. In reality, no one on the pro-science side of the vaccine divide thinks like this or trusts the government, media, and pharmaceutical companies this way. Indeed, another way to look at this mindset is as massive projection. Antivaxers believe in a religion-like manner that vaccines are harmful; so they assume that those of us defending vaccines against their attacks came to our pro-vaccine beliefs the same way. It’s simply inconceivable to an antivaxer like this that we examined the evidence and came to the conclusion that vaccines are safe and effective.

Finally, the last one:

12. I believe that the vaccines my children receive “Save Lives” so therefore, I agree to do my part and get the 88 or more vaccines recommended for Adults by the CDC.

Can you say “non sequitur”? Sure, I knew you could. Belief that childhood vaccines save lives (which they definitely do) does not lead to the conclusion that adults need to “catch up” on their childhood vaccines if they haven’t received the full complement, particularly given that the vaccine schedule has changed over the years and is not the same for adults as it is for today’s children. I do like how included in this is the typical antivaccine exaggeration of the number of vaccines, usually derived from counting multivalent vaccines as however many components they contain and counting each booster as one vaccine. These inflated vaccine counts also generally count each year’s flu shot as one vaccine. In any event, I’ve seen typical estimates ranging from 50 to over 100 vaccines, depending on how the specific antivaxer decided to “count” the vaccines.

And, just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in:

I acknowledge the 2011 U.S Supreme Courts ruling declaring vaccines “Unavoidably Unsafe.”

Of course, that 2011 SCOTUS ruling said nothing of the sort. Don’t believe me? Then check this out too. Basically, all “unavoidably unsafe” means is that a product describe that way has tremendous benefits that far outweigh the reasonable risks it poses. Legally, it doesn’t mean a dangerous product, but to the layperson it sounds that way.

So, there you have it. We survived the twelve (plus one) pledges of fealty that antivaxers believe that we pro-vaxers would happily take. It’s a document that says far more about the antivaxers who put it together than it says about vaccines or those of us who defend them against pseudoscientific attacks and lame attempts at parody like this one.

By Orac

Orac is the nom de blog of a humble surgeon/scientist who has an ego just big enough to delude himself that someone, somewhere might actually give a rodent's posterior about his copious verbal meanderings, but just barely small enough to admit to himself that few probably will. That surgeon is otherwise known as David Gorski.

That this particular surgeon has chosen his nom de blog based on a rather cranky and arrogant computer shaped like a clear box of blinking lights that he originally encountered when he became a fan of a 35 year old British SF television show whose special effects were renowned for their BBC/Doctor Who-style low budget look, but whose stories nonetheless resulted in some of the best, most innovative science fiction ever televised, should tell you nearly all that you need to know about Orac. (That, and the length of the preceding sentence.)

DISCLAIMER:: The various written meanderings here are the opinions of Orac and Orac alone, written on his own time. They should never be construed as representing the opinions of any other person or entity, especially Orac's cancer center, department of surgery, medical school, or university. Also note that Orac is nonpartisan; he is more than willing to criticize the statements of anyone, regardless of of political leanings, if that anyone advocates pseudoscience or quackery. Finally, medical commentary is not to be construed in any way as medical advice.

To contact Orac: [email protected]

79 replies on “Adult vaccine pledge. (Translation: “Wake up, sheeple!”)”

Please allow me to respond in style, presenting the tenets of belief that the author of the above masterpiece must have subscribed to:

The Cult of AntiVax – Sacred Tenets of Belief

Trust & Truth
1 verse 1: All vaccines are Evil. Period.
1 verse 2: Never trust anyone who is positive about vaccines.
1 verse 3: Pharmaceutical companies lie about efficacy and side effects of vaccines.
1 verse 4: Doctors lie about efficacy and side effects of vaccines.
1 verse 5: Governments lie about efficacy and side effects of vaccines.
1 verse 6: Scientists lie about efficacy and side effects of vaccines.
1 verse 7: All the above parties are only interested in our money, not in our health.
Knowledge
2 verse 1: The Cult of Antivax by definition has Supreme Knowledge about vaccines.
2 verse 2: One day with Google and YouTube provides more Knowledge than ten years of academic study.
2 verse 3: Verifiable facts are subordinate to anecdotes.
2 verse 4: Verifiable facts are subordinate to what we think is likely.
2 verse 5: Verifiable facts are subordinate to what we make up (a.k.a. “think for ourselves”)
The Nature of Vaccines
3 verse 1: All vaccines contain Toxins
3 verse 2: All vaccines are untested.
3 verse 3: Vaccines are a diabolical instrument to keep the sheeple weak and sick.
The cause of Disease
4 verse 1: Vaccines cause autism.
4 verse 2: Vaccines cause immune disorders.
4 verse 3: Vaccines cause diabetes.
4 verse 4: Vaccines cause chronic fatigue syndrome.
… (omitted for reasons of brevity)
4 verse 187: Vaccines cause infertility.

And of this we witness as our immutable Truth, under the guidance of our enlightened prophet Wakefield.

“Vaccines cause infertility”

All the anti-vaxxers need to do is wait. Soon there will be no pro-vaxxers in the world.

I saw this making the rounds on Facebook a few weeks back.

The stupid in this, just burns and burns.

How can you have any sort of rational discussion with people who believe crap like this?

I probably have received more vaccines than the average American including shit like typhoid, and the total isn’t anywhere close to 88.

(It seemed like a lot more at the time, but a Navy corpsman with a shot gun and a grudge against Marines will do that).

OMG YES! – With my 28 years of army & navy active & reserve military experience including overseas postings, you name the vaccine and I got it more than once! I think the murky muddy plague vaccine was the worst for side effects but I never encountered any adverse reaction beyond a temporary nuisance level.

I have more incentive to fully comply with the adult vaccine schedule, now that I know “Shark Liver Oil” is in vaccines.

I can develop immunity to disease and prevent cancer at the same time!

More like “A Dolt’s Vaccine Pledge” written by a whole bunch of dolts.

I do have one that might make AVer’s heads spin: some of the insurance plans in AZ actually give out gift cards to family if their child is fully vaccinated at age 2. The typical amount is $25–so not much. But I’ve never received a single bonus for children being fully vaccinated.

Vaccines cause cancer. Yeah that makes sense. If you don’t die from a vaccine preventable disease, there is a chance you might die from cancer, or at least cancer, because it’s an age-related illness.

One could make some parody of those arguments, but Richard’s reply covers it all.
Don’t trust experts, but trust what some people you don’t know write on the internet. Some of them might even have interests in making you distrust vaccines, or the current vaccine-schedule. I’m thinking of mr. Wakefield, or some anti-vaccine pedatricians, who earn their money writing false statements, or vaccinating with an alternative schedule.

And can those people who are so affraid of side-effects of vaccines, which are often exagerated tell me what the nasty effects of those vaccine preventable illnesses are?
Let’s see, some I know: death, braindamage, hearing-loss, infertility and I’m pretty sure the list goes on. Just because they didn’t show those in ‘The Brady Bunch’, doesn’t mean those nasty effects don’t exist. And being ill, or caring for someone who is ill, might look like fun in some comedy-show, but I think it’s far less funny in real life.

You will notice that vitamins are dangerous, too. Does anybody know vaccine that contains vitamins ?

Sorry for mistake, some vaccines actually contain ascorbic acid, it is a good antioxidant. But why is C nobloow dangerous, usually it cures almost everything.

Oh no, Aarno, you said the word. Now the citrus guy will come and talk at us until we scream (or go have a glass of lemonade).

Orac :
” What is this, the Declaration of Independence…?”
Of course it is, for it declares Independence from the Unjust Oppression of Medical Tyranny

( At any rate, some of the loons think like that.)

Ah, a revolution against oppression and medical tyranny. There is precedent. They should all dress up in white lab coats and toss cartons full of vaccines into Boston harbor.

I looked over the list of side effects of the pledge. I did not see erectile dysfunction or being turned into a newt. How can it even pretend to be authoritative and scary without those? Of course, the VAERS database might have those.

Whoops, got my quackery mixed up. Aluminium causes breast cancer and poor semen quality per Exley, Gherardi et al. But you know how anti-vaxxers are, aluminium adjuvants are in some vaccines ergo…

It’s Gayle DeLong who hypothesiseseses (this is a word like banana…when do you stop?) that vaccines caused her breast cancer. This is because vaccines caused her childrens’ autism which caused her stress and stress causes breast cancer.

I’m typing this from memory but I think that was the gist of her claim.

I liked the Python reference. Perhaps they are also a bit like the Black Knight. You know, a tiny bit oblivious to the truth “I’ve had worse”.

Anti-vaxxers rant that SBM believes that vaccines are totally “Safe and Effective”,
in fact, there’s even a contract of sorts that they would have their on-the-fence followers present to doctors and nurses to sign before vaccinating their children that would state that vaccines are 100% safe and effective and that they, the providers, would be responsible if any harm occurred.
So “Safe and Effective” is a very familiar catchphrase.

The Physician’s Desk Reference is a good one. It actually has relevant information on how to administer, is up to date on current studies regarding safety (for example, that skin testing is not needed anymore in patients with documented egg allergies.

Here in the UK we have a little thing called NICE, which provides guidance for all health practitioners, with full sets of references and explanations and everything: it’s pretty good. Mebbe the US should try something like that?

Inserts are just legal documents. That is why patients are given information sheets instead.

sigh

One has to wonder just a little bit whether the origin of that “pledge” is Health Freedom Idaho at all. This seems very much like something that could have originated in a Russian Troll farm. The contortions are so deliberate: in point #1: one has to accept that vaccinating causes… influenza? People can get the disease being vaccinated against, but it takes some serious twisting to say that the vaccination causes that disease. Regardless of the source, it’s pretty clear that someone in this country wants to accept that the load being shoveled here smells like roses.

One of the basic functions of the government is to protect its people from threats that they can’t protect themselves from. What happens when the people become a basic threat to themselves?

“Their they’re there” confusions are typically a sign of a native speaker. They go with having learned the language by ear before learning to read. By contrast, native Russian speakers notoriously struggle to get their articles right. (Foiled by moose and squirrel!) That said, I’m pretty sure I saw signs in some of the known Russian troll accounts of deliberate imitation of native speakers’ mistakes and that people studying the posts noted this too. If I’ve remembered that correctly, it says something about what the Russians think their audience is for this sort of thing.

Is it part of the loon mentality to have appalling spelling and grammar? I loved “patience” for “patients”, and how hard is to know the difference between they’re and their?

For sure!
If you listen to them speak, their incapacity extends to malapropism and mispronunciation.

Also lame analogies and clumsy metaphors.

Julian:

Because I follow the ramblings of various woo-meisters/anti-vaxxers, I have compiled a list for ‘prentice/ wanna-bes

if you brag about being a professor, learn how to pronounce microbiology, methane, Mozart
if you slam SBM advocates, at least spell their names correctly ( Dr DG’s name is not hard)
if you are an expert in art history as well as in science, learn who Titian or Tiziano, is: a ‘TITAN’ is mythical
if you have a grudge against an actual reporter ( see Jake) don’t include their place of employment so readers can look them up and compare their work to your pitiable excuse for writing
if your braggadocio includes your ability to spot brilliance, don’t list Alex Jones or Jeffrey Smith
if you are a “science editor” for AoA, well, you need to reconsider your life plan
if Bolen accepts your meanderings, you have too much time on your hands
if you initials are “MJD” – readers can follow your ideas- such as they are- without double spacing
if you want to convince people of your seriousness, don’t constantly refer to Howard Stern or Jenny McCarthy

Oh wait, potential followers won’t mind because their thought leaders already do things exactly like that.

The one that cracked me up is testing vaccines for infertility, instead of testing that the cause infertility. Part of the point of vaccines is that the disease-causing organisms don’t reproduce.

Turns out that the $40k bonus is just for vaccinating a particular little girl named Patience. For reasons which shall become clear during the space robot wars of the 40’s. Same reason we need a Space Force. Because Time Travel.

Actually, as someone who studied learning, language, development, testing et al, this tells me LOTS:

they can’t learn simple spelling patterns, how to pronounce words, figures of speech, general information**;
they get facts and figures wrong; they have problems with abstractions. They can’t do mathematics/ statistics.
How can you put any value in what they say?

** I’ve given examples courtesy of prn.fm. Not the only place -btw-.

“I Pledge to Follow the CDC’s Recommended Adult Vaccine Schedule.”

You bet I do. Because, I teach up to 600 (you read that right) students every semester, and so my exposure is massive.

I had my immunity to measles checked, and a booster for pertussis (I’ve had students walk up to me and announce “I have whooping cough!” as I quickly back away), and got the vaccines for meningitis because two students here had it. I don’t just not complain about annual flu shots, I beg for them, and religiously get them every year as soon as they come out, so I have a week or two to build some immunity before classes start. And I’m mighty glad I do, because at least 50 of my students every semester come down with flu.

I only wish there were vaccines against random little cold and other small-time viruses, because I get those every single semester, always right after the first midterm exam, the first time I have occasion to have close exposure to all the students. That’s called “large-class disease”, and scales almost linearly with the number of students a professor has.

No matter what “injury” vaccines could cause me, it’d be better than getting all these diseases. Bet even an anti-vaxxer might change their mind after personally being taken down by all those illnesses. Well, perhaps not, but enough suffering is the only thing that has a chance of working.

The year I had bronchitis at the end of the semester I wrote “I am sick! This exam is contaminated! Please decontaminate before grading!” I mean, not that any of my professors could have not noticed my constant hacking cough, but I wanted to be very sure that they were warned because I didn’t want any of them to get sick over the holidays (and hate me for it and give me a bad grade).

I wish hand sanitizer had been a thing then so I could have bathed in it.

Ailsa, that’s just it. I’d line up for hours or days for cold vaccines!

JustaTech, you are so considerate!!

Typo in point 4: “As for 90% of people involved in outbreaks being unvaccinated,” That should be “vaccinated”.

Animal proteins in vaccines resemble human proteins. So any and ALL human proteins are targets of vaccine induced autoimmunity, including the immune system itself.
So breast cancer (or any other cancer) can be caused by improper immune system function induced by vaccines.

Cancer immunology, bioinformatics and chemokine evidence link vaccines contaminated with animal proteins to autoimmune disease: a detailed look at Crohn’s disease and Vitiligo

https://www.zenodo.org/record/1034777

Source required that is PubMed indexed, and written by an actual vaccine researcher or immunologist, not a repeat of your usual rantings.

By that logic cancer can be caused by improper immune system function induced by pathogens.

Innate or adaptive immune system?

T cells or B cells?

But you’re not going to answer any of that because you never do. You’re just like MDJ, with fewer typographical tics.

“By that logic cancer can be caused by improper immune system function induced by pathogens.”

Yes, but we have evolved with that for millions of years and have thus evolved appropriate defense mechanisms.
And some pathogens PROTECT against cancer. Chicken pox protects against some forms for brain cancer.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4924393/

Innate or adaptive immune system?

T cells or B cells?

All human proteins are targets means all of the above.

Thanks for the information, Vinu. Your research is a great read!

@ Orac,

You made me laugh with this line:

“Wait, what? Urine? Where the hell did the writer of this pledge get that one from? That’s a new one on me! Do they mean urea?”

It still makes me chuckle.

Sullivanthepoop and Panacea,

The article I provided was recommended by Prof. Dirk Roggenbuck, Brandenburg University of Technology Cottbus-Senftenberg, an autoimmunity expert:

Cancer immunology, bioinformatics and chemokine evidence link vaccines contaminated with animal proteins to autoimmune disease: a detailed look at Crohn’s disease and Vitiligo

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/320126201_Cancer_immunology_bioinformatics_and_chemokine_evidence_link_vaccines_contaminated_with_animal_proteins_to_autoimmune_disease_a_detailed_look_at_Crohn%27s_disease_and_Vitiligo

Instead of posting a wallpaper of 20 pubmed references, I am providing a link to my article that contains the references you seek.

MJD, as always, thank you and you are welcome.

“Animal proteins in vaccines resemble human proteins.”

Indeed, they are made out of amino acids.

@ Smut Clyde,

Don’t forget about the secondary, tertiary, and quaternary structures of proteins.

You really are a simple Smut, Clyde.

I second @drksky’s typo (in the 1st sentence of the penultimate paragraph of your commentary). There’s another typo that inverts the sense, in your commentary on #10: “Some insurance companies …; some do” should be “…some don’t.”

I don’t follow the CDC schedule anymore for a simple reason. I live in Thailand now and I need some other vaccines that are not required in US. One vaccine I would get but I am beyond the area range is for Dengue.

My 11 month old stepdaughter is definitely getting all her shots.

As far as that pledge goes, it probably make a good comedy routine.

@ Shay Simmons:

Believe it or not, there’s a school of woo that postulates that psychological trauma/’feeling unappreciated’ leads to breast cancer. In fact, just recently, the Grand Master of Woo himself recollected how, in the 1970s, one of his revolutionary colleagues, predicted which of a group of women would get breast cancer knowing only psychological data.

So if they had only learned how to cope, they’d have never got the disease!
I can’t recall the name but I’m sure someone else will.

I do know about him.

The loon I survey maintains that in the 1970s, he was closely associated with various medical innovators and revolutionaries – such as Linus Pauling, Herbert Benson, Lawrence LeShan, Emmanuel Revici et al and they all did amazing work together at the (possibly fictional) Institute of Applied Biology I think that the person in question might have been a psychologist.

The tale is that he could through questions about attitudes and personality predict precisely which subjects would get breast cancer years later.
Unfortunately, followers of woo-meistery accept stories like this without questioning how this might be possible:
Like the vaccines-autism myth, there’s usually a lot of hand waving between the so-called cause and outcome.
I liken it to mediaeval maps where areas the cartographers knew nothing about would be designated:
Here Be Monsters. Or is it Dragons?

Eysenck got into it as well, drawing his data from some German / Hungarian fabulist whose name I forget.

So the 18th century novelist, Fanny Burney, had breast cancer (and a masectomy without anaesthesia, whimoer) because of vaccines? Uh-huh. Wouldn’t she be surprised?

Interesting how antivaxxers persist in using 18th century capitalization. Why, why, why?

I’m hoping for a revival of the long ess, but they’d probably be unable to manage that successfully either.

Why do these anti-vax loons seem to think that the entire world is the USA? Do your schools not teach geography?

That guff is so laughably US-centric that much of it could never apply over on the right side of the Atlantic.

Please anti-vax loons, study some geography and also how other healthcare systems work?

What in the actual f**k … Where do you find these articles?

I guess I indulge my atypical hyperlexia on PubMed & Archives & my local public library’s web site, because until just the last two years; I thought that Jenny girl was a former MTV hostess, had no clue who Wakefield was & had never read AoA.

The difference between you pro-v’s & those anti-v’s is that may of you inadvertently “signed up for this” by proxy of your education; whereas they … did not. Surely you realize that not everybody is destined to become doctors or lawyers, scientists, writers, educators, etc … but that won’t stop them from participating in the human experience.

I actually believe that most people are inherently honest & good & that when they experience something wrong & bad; that they recognize it as such & try to speak up & be heard. Okay; so they are functionally illiterate (sigh). At least they are speaking up for what they believe in. Aren’t you?

I am. I speak up; because despite being as dumb as a box of rocks? I do know when my experience is counter to current SBM. I do know that historically, when the human experience is counter to the current SBM; that SBM eventually becomes “former” & it is replaced or upgraded into a new “current”.

In regards to examples of former non-SBM; it should be mentioned that the vast majority of it was not as much anti-science as it was anti-female. Maybe that the vast majority of doctors & scientists have been historically male, therefore incapable of the female experience; is why, to this day; we have a surgery called a “Hysterectomy”?

Ah; there’s my problem: My hysteria is fully intact & functional. Or maybe, I have a point. Nah.

I think the author of that article sounds … mad. Maybe he’s new at being mad; many anti-v’s are & I personally think that many anti-v’s get it wrong, wrong, wrong … regarding the Adult Immunization policy. They should support it. Demand more “designer” (obesity, tobacco use, alcoholism, etc) vaccines & campaign for compulsory vaccination for adults.

It would be like going back in time 300 years or so but with a way to induce the experience of PMS, PPD, breast cancer, PCOS, estrogen dominance, leiomyomas, endometriosis, menopause, etc …in all those fine male “expert” physicians & maybe in the year 2018; we wouldn’t still be removing all that hysteria from women; we could be treating it.

Nah. Probably wouldn’t work. Start campaigning for compulsory adult immunization & we would likely have an enormous incidence of grown-ups receiving upper limb amputations in relation to the Brachial Neuritis or whatnot that we were suddenly over-diagnosing, which would complicate matters for the caregivers of the one-armed Alzheimer’s patients with synapses resembling Ta Prohm.

Because THAT would be ironic. Suggesting that grown-ups will die from SIDS or succumb to Autism is just strange.

I stumbled into it after stumbling into the long lamented Effect Measure blog, which is also what led me here.

Gah. I was remarking on this:

The difference between you pro-v’s & those anti-v’s is that may of you inadvertently “signed up for this” by proxy of your education

Long evening at the cat shelter. No insane tantrums from the proprietor, at least.

That it’s not necessarily about education. For that matter, many in the antivax crowd are well educated. It’s an idée fixe. You can’t reason a person out of an idea they didn’t reason themselves into, etc.

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