In the quiet and still of the crypt, something stirred. It was barely perceptible at first, but became more definite.
It lived again.
In the depths of what remained of its mind, only sheer instinct prevailed. It had fed long and well recently, and had returned to its crypt to digest its unholy meal. Some primeval instict told it that it was still being hunted. How it knew this it is impossible to know, but a sense of urgency had led it back to to the safety of its crypt to ride out the storm. The peace of eternal rest denied it, it could still occasionally have a brief taste of that rest only by feeding and then shambling back to its vile resting place, until its eternal hunger brought it forth into the world again.
That hunger was mostly sated, but it never entirely went away. And now the creature sensed something calling it forth to feed again.
It was time.
******
Alan Stang (no, not Alan Strang) was in his office. As always, he was wearing a hat. No one knew why he was never seen in public without a hat, and everyone who knew him tended to write it off as a quirk of his personality. Only Stang knew for sure why he wore a hat all the time, even in the hottest summer, and he wasn’t telling. Stang was upset. In Virginia, a young man had chosen quackery over conventional medicine to treat his Hodgkins’ lymphoma, and the State of Virginia had stepped in to try to make sure that he got the appropriate treatment rather than quackery. Stang had been outraged when he had read of it. Now, as a pundit writing for a website known as EtherZone, he was busily working on a commentary, furiously pounding away at his keyboard, sweat rolling down his brow. It’s an outrage! He thought. How dare they?
So engrossed was he in his task that he failed to hear the crash of a door opening. As Stang continued to type, however, hunched over his computer, he knew he was on a roll. Nothing must stop him from finishing his article. But what was that smell? Had he left the trash uncovered? It reeked of rotting meat. He made a mental note to put the trash out into the garage until garbage collection day.
Then he remembered.
He had smelled that same sickly odor once before.
*****
The undead Führer shambled, drawn by it knew not what.
It no longer knew why it existed, why it had an insatiable hunger for brains. It only knew that, when rhetoric reached a certain level, that it knew it would be able to feed. It knew not the details of the Abraham Cherrix case, which had been attracting overblown comparisons that were clearly building towards the ultimate overblown analogy, nor did it care. It only knew it would be able to feed.
And when it fed on the brains of pundits, ridiculous Nazi analogies were sure to follow.
It pushed open a door and moved in to feed.
“Braaaiiiinnnsss!” its rotting lips cried.**
And the creature paused, confused.
As Stang cowered, skeletal fingers reached for his hat and removed it.
And there was the reason for the creature’s confusion: A gaping hole in Stang’s cranium. The creature had been there before. Only momentarily nonplussed, the creature’s skeletal hands seized Stang’s head and drew the other side of his skull to slavering, rotting lips.
The last thing Stang remembered was the odor of worms.
*****
Orac rested.
Instead of sifting through terrabytes of data, he lazily looked at a few gigabytes washing through his circuitry via his network connections. The monster was gone. It had struck at Orac’s place of origin and then disappeared again, almost without a trace.
This time, though, Orac had an idea where the Hitler Zombie might strike again.
He had been following the story of a young human named Abraham Cherrix. Normally, Orac would not concern himself with the irrationality of a decision by an adolescent human male to forego therapy known to be effective for his cancer in favor of a “therapy” with no evidence at all for its efficacy and a goodly amount of evidence that it didn’t work. Orac was never able to understand such illogic and magical thinking, and didn’t wish to start trying now. However, he had recognized that this teen’s fellow humans had started framing this case as a tyrannical government “forcibly poisoning” a young male.
The rhetoric could only lead in one direction.
And today it did. Orac became aware of evidence of the monster:
Remember that the Nazi death camps started with the doctors. Many years before the world began to hear about places like Auschwitz and Dachau, even before Viennese homosexual prostitute Adolf Hitler became Reichschancellor, doctors in the Weimar Republic were killing Germans they considered “not fit to live,” defective children for instance and then different kinds of adults.
Of course, the doctors were doing that for the country’s “own good.” At the Versailles Conference in 1919, the Allies had lied and saddled Germany with a ruinous war debt, which Germany couldn’t pay. The doctors did their “patriotic duty” by removing “useless eaters” from the table. Remember that this had nothing at all to do with Jews. In fact, German doctors doing this at the time thought it was so “humane” it was “too good” for the Jews. The Jews didn’t deserve it.
Now, in Virginia, we have Abraham Cherrix, a 16-year-old boy with a Hodgkin’s cancer, whom a judge recently ordered to undergo another round of chemotherapy. The first round left him so debilitated he couldn’t walk; his father had to carry him around, quite a feat because the boy is over six feet tall. Afterward, the cancer returned. In other words, the chemotherapy failed.
Abraham and his parents want him to take the herbal treatment developed by Harry Hoxsey, who had to flee the United States for that beacon of medical liberty, Mexico, where doctors prescribe it. So what we have here is a disagreement among doctors. The doctors who control and profit enormously from the multi-billion dollar cancer racket in this country will do anything to preserve it; so they told the judge to order a second round of chemotherapy. They, too, are humane.
The creature had struck again.
Orac called upon his companions in the ScienceBlogs collective. Abel Pharmboy answered the call. Orac liked Abel, except that he couldn’t figure out why he liked to discuss intoxicants every week. Orac had no need of fermentables. He did, however, unfortunately sometimes need assistance in moving about. Why couldn’t his creator Ensor have built a transport mechanism into his machinery?
“Did you see this?” Orac asked Abel.
“I did now,” replied Abel. “Looks like the creature is on the loose again.”
“Indeed. Let us deconstruct the results of this attack.”
“Well, this is perhaps the most moronic, brain-dead analogy to Hitler and the Nazis that I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“You clearly haven’t been collecting and studying brain dead, idiotic Hitler and Nazi analogies as long as I have,” replied Orac drily. “Nonetheless, I agree that this one ranks near the top, as far as truly ignorant and idiotic Hitler analogies go. Even I have a hard time recalling one quite this bad. Consider: The Nazis started out their killing program with ‘euthanasia,’ the elimination of, as they put it, ‘life unworthy of life,’ namely the mentally retarded, the schizophrenic, and other mentally ill patients, as well as those with cerebral palsy. Their warped purpose was to ‘strengthen’ the Volk by eliminating what they referred to as ‘useless eaters.’ This killing of the handicapped laid the groundwork and provided the Nazis with the opportunity to develop and ultimately perfect gas chambers that were later used in the Holocaust. In the case of Abraham Cherrix, the state is doing the exact opposite of what the Nazis did. It is trying to save him from his own and his parents’ magical thinking, in which they all seem to think that an utterly ineffective quackery will save the teen’s life. Nor are they proposing to ‘experiment’ on him. Whether you think it is right or wrong for the state to try to do this, whether you think that Abraham is old enough to choose for himself, the State of Virginia is trying to save Abraham’s life, not kill him, it should be obvious that this analogy is totally wrong and simply designed to demonize those who think that the state should intervene in this case. So what can we conclude from Alan Stang’s hysterically over-the-top rant?”
“Well, he’s obviously had his brain chomped on by the Hitler Zombie,” replied Abel.
“No doubt,” said Orac, “but I would go farther than that. The utter idiocy of his most recent analogy suggests that he was already missing some brain. Possibly even more than once.The utter vileness of comparing the industrialized mass extermination of the disabled and Jews to the efforts of the state to save this boy’s life should speak for itself. It should not matter whether you agree that the state should intervene in this case or not. But, Abel, what else do you note?”
“Well, that’s easy. This clown also regurgitates a number of altie canards, such as a vastly simplified rant about Semmelweis, claiming that doctors want only to perpetuate a ‘$2 billion monopoly.’ Get a load of this.”
Why do these monsters do it? What do they want? First, of course, they want to maintain their multi-billion dollar monopoly. We are literally talking about one of the most lucrative rackets in world history. Second, they want to conceal that monopoly. I call it Monopoly Medicine. It includes the government, the drug companies, the AMA, the big insurance companies and the medical schools.
Monopoly Medicine is an essential element in the totalitarian socialist conspiracy for world government, the present front man for which is el presidente de los Estados Unidos Smirk W. Boosh. For details about what the medical conspirators are doing to maintain their monopoly, and about the lifesaving technologies they are trying to suppress, see my new book, Electronic Medicine: Cure for Cancer? Simply go to www.stangbooks.com.
I can tell you that the conspirators are desperate. The people are catching on. Many more people go to so-called “alternative” practitioners these days than to so-called “orthodox” practitioners. Fewer patients simply do as they are told. The fragile monopoly the medical monsters run could easily collapse.
But remember that one of the long-standing goals of the conspiracy is drastically to reduce the population of the world. The conspirators debate among themselves about how many people must be exterminated. Jacques Yves Cousteau wanted to kill 250,000 per day. Some thinkers talk about exterminating a full 90% of today’s human beings. They will probably compromise on some percentage in the middle. A much smaller population would be that much easier to control.
And the (government) doctors will be in the middle of it. What could they do? One doctor tells me he is convinced the conspiracy will kill with its vaccines, which Boosh has suggested could become mandatory under martial law justified by a convenient epidemic.
“Yes, nice touch with the paranoid big pharma and antivaccine conspiracy-mongering added to the Hitler analogy,” said Orac. “The alties will eat it up. I hadn’t realized, however, that Jacques Cousteau had been such a menace. So what does this tell you about where the creature might strike next?”
“Well,” said Abel, ” we should look at blogs.”
“I agree,” said Orac. “In fact, it’s already begun. The “forced poisoning”/Nazi/Hitler analogies for this case are only beginning. For example, here’s ‘Ogre.'”
If this were just one person, the judge, he could be shot and this would be over with. But it’s not just one judge. The entire bureaucracy of social services is lining up to crush Abraham’s freedom. There’s actually a hearing today to determine if the judge will order the police to take this boy into custody so they can forcibly medicate him. Any sheriff who obeys this judge’s order is just as guilty as the judge.
Social services, for those who don’t know them, are basically evil. They exist to destroy people in order to obtain federal funding. Sure occasionally they do something good, but like the ACLU, they do 1000 evil acts for each good act.
Will this lead to an “Elian Gonzalez?” It’s sounding like it will so far. The gestapo, I mean social service agent has already threatened Abraham’s parents that they will forcibly break into his house and take Abraham by force.
“What a lovely person,” commented Orac. “Such exterminationist rhetoric. Indeed, the zombie has feasted long and deeply on Ogre’s brain. There’s nothing left, as you will see.”
So, how do you stop this horrible injustice? The ONLY way is a majority force of arms. The judge is ordering police to seize this child. The police will obey him. The only way to stop the judge and the police is to resist. In this case, with violence. Yes, it really has come to this point.
And yes, if they do resist, they will certainly be killed. You see, there’s more policemen than there are arms in Abraham’s house. And sure, the police will claim they were just following the judge’s orders — need I remind you that the Nazi guards were just following orders, too?
“A truly histrionic analogy to Nazi death camp guards,” Abel added. “Whenever you write about this case, you try to acknowledge that there are legitimate concerns about excessive governmental power while emphasizing that the Hoxsey therapy is quackery and decrying the credulous press coverage that presents it as a legitimate alternative to conventional therapy. This guy just wants to kill the judge and use force. Or so it seems. But Ogre is not alone. Look at this one too.”
What is equally troubling in this story is the position that the medical industry has taken. Forced treatment of unwilling patients able to make their own decisions should have ended with the infamous Nazi experiments, but they haven’t. There is a disease of arrogance that permeates the medical establishment. This god-complex that some doctors suffer from is unwarranted given the reality of medical care that we highlighted in a previous article.
“Yes, it’s the easiest thing in the world to demonize those with whom you disagree by argumentum ad Nazium. It’s the last refuge of lazy unthinking, inflammatory rhetoric designed to provoke an emotional response rather than make one think,” said Orac. “We must find the monster, or it will only get worse.”
“But how?” asked Abel. “It has obviously feasted so long and so well on idiots like Stang and Ogre that it will be stronger than ever.”
“Not necessarily,” replied Orac. “Given the truly appalling and ignorant rhetoric coming from them, I rather suspect that those meals were pretty thin gruel, and that the monster’s hunger is nowhere near sated by such poor fare. In any case, look for cases or politics where the rhetoric and demonization of opponents are escalating. There we will lie in wait. In fact, I think I know just where to look now…”
THE END (for now–unfortunately it’s never truly the end of the Hitler Zombie.)
**Translated from the German, as always.
(Note: Hitler Zombie graphic courtesy of Skeptic Rant.)
